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Blk Muscle for NON, Hairy or Smooth.. Bigger...

Thundercizzle — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 22:24:00 GMT

Lookin' for a down to earth guys to get to know.

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Polyamory in the News

Alan — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 18:36:05 GMT

New breakthroughs have been happening in public awareness and recognition of polyamory. CNN, ABC's Nightline, MTV, bigtime evangelical media -- if you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com) in the last four, here's some of what you've missed:

** Polyamory is “America's next romantic revolution,” claims Newsweek online. “It's enough to make any monogamist's head spin. But the traditionalists had better get used to it.” The magazine says the U.S. now has more than a half million poly households, but doesn't give a clear source for this number.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/newsweek-article-appears-at-least.html

** The Newsweek author, a few days later, also mused on “the Feminist Roots of Polyamory.” “The key to poly relationships is gender equality, and women have been central to the creation of the practice.... The way these families make their relationships work is perhaps the most feminine of all: by good old-fashioned talking....”
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/newsweek-author-feminist-roots-of.html

** The president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary gives a big swath of the evangelical world an accurate, level-headed description of who we are and what we're about. Of course he's totally opposed. But with opponents like this, who needs allies?
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/08/revelation-for-christians.html

** Advice columnists pick up the poly hot potato everywhere from Dear Margo, Ask Abby, and Dear Amy to the Jewish Daily Forward.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/08/mainstreaming-in-dear-margo.html
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/09/more-unhelpful-advice-columnists.html
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/08/i-write-to-you-not-with-ink-but-with.html

** Out and Proud, or TMI? A different kind of advice columnist, Dan Savage, addresses the question of how out should out polys choose to be.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/10/out-and-proud-or-tmi.html

** MTV's hour-long documentary “I'm Polyamorous” turned out quite well, though one of the starring people gives us a behind-the-scenes account of how a lot of their best stuff got cut.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/09/mtv-poly-documentary.html

** CNN treats polyamory as a real and significant alternative to monogamy in an article online and then the next day on TV.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/10/cnn-on-monogamy-and-poly-alternative.html
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/10/mono-vs-poly-debated-on-cnn-tv.html

** Poly Pride Day in New York: my report.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/10/report-from-poly-pride-day-in-new-york.html

** Win some, lose some, but gay marriage is coming. As settled, legally married pairs take center stage, will the gay movement abandon its relationship radicals?
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/10/will-gay-marriage-leave-relationship.html

** Plus print coverage from Britain, Poland, and Latin America -- and watch TV news coverage from Canada, Spain, and France.

------------------

Here's the site:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com

If you’re on LiveJournal you can sign up for an LJ Friends feed:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

Or subscribe by a different feed:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/PolyamoryInTheNews

I've done 346 of these reports in the last four years. They're sorted in the archive by date, topic, and sometimes location. I hope you have as much fun browsing them as I did creating them!

Happy November--

Alan

(Crossposted)

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

POLY GROUP IN RICHMOND VIRGINIA

Bacchus, the Kilted Wonder — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 22:56:31 GMT

Howdy all!
Me and my beautiful wife are putting together a support/informational/friendly Polyamory group that meets in Richmond, VA. The idea is for people who are interested or new to poly and those who have been living the life for a while to come together and discuss topics and issues that affect us all. All poly groups are welcome (singles, couples, triads, quads, more) and all gender preferences and orientations!
We're working on having our first Poly Potluck on the first Sunday in November. In the future we're planning on putting together outings to the park, festivals, or wherever for fun and family togetherness. Details are being hammered out in the meantime, but if you're interested, please let me know!! Feel free to message me!!

Can't wait to meet some of you fantastic poly people!

posted in Alternative Marriage - 1 reply

Ardent goes International!

XenitH — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 05:42:32 GMT

We just created the groundworks for A.R.D.E.N.T. to extend far and wide.

Please visit our new and very interactive website!

www.ardentintl.ning.com/main/

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Polyamory in the News

Alan — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 02:29:08 GMT

What's the big wide world saying and hearing about us? Quite a lot.

How are the media presenting polyamory to your worried mom in Dubuque? Sometimes, in interesting and insightful ways.

If you haven't been keeping up with Polyamory in the News in the last four months
(http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/), here's some of what you missed:

** "Multi-Love: It's Complicated," headlines a newspaper in Chicago -- but, the article suggests, it can also be pretty darn nice.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/06/multi-love-its-complicated.html

** The folks who've organized Young Milwaukee Poly get themselves some excellent treatment on mainstream TV news.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/young-activists-show-how-its-done.html

** Another fine mainstream TV news report -- this one on Seattle's Terisa Greenan, her two partners, and her webcast sitcom series "Family."
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/local-familys-lifestyle-gets-national.html

** The Calvin Klein foursome billboard (they're not *quite* naked) raises nationwide ire. ABC News.com asks if this means polyamory is getting mainstreamed, and finds a good poly spokesperson to discuss the matter intelligently.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/06/calvin-klein-foursome-ad-and-its.html

** ABC News.com also looks at whether a drive for legalized poly marriage is coming down the pike: "Some See Polyamorous Marriage as the Next Civil Rights Movement."
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/06/polyamory-when-one-spouse-isnt-enough.html

** Governor Mark Sanford and his affair were touchy subjects for polys. Me, I saw a teaching opportunity and posted about it to the Polyamory Leadership Network; Loving More grabbed the ball and sent a press release to 150 media outlets; so far no takers; but keep an eye on Newsweek. Read all about it:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/governor-mark-sanford-affair.html

** Why a duck? Poly and bestiality on Fox News; Bill O'Reilly, Glen Beck, and others go on a mini-jihad against triads, comparing them to marrying ducks and turtles.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/05/why-duck-poly-and-bestiality-on-oreilly.html

...and Gretchen Carlson tries to roast Jenny Block, who holds her own:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/05/fox-news-pumps-triad-hysteria-jenny.html

...and don't miss the Sex with Ducks parody video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXPcBI4CJc8

** Charles Colson of Watergate fame, now a leading Christian, warns millions of evangelicals -- people *we're* never going to reach -- about loving, bonded poly groups who "walk down the street hand in hand in hand in hand." Yay!
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/05/triads-mr-and-mrs-and-mrs-or-whatever.html

** Feminist Katie Roiphe declaims on open and poly marriages in the high-fashion magazine Harper's Bazaar: "Is our idea of love perhaps too narrow, too literal, too unimaginative?... It is an act of imagination to live differently from everyone else, and maybe, in rare and magnificent moments, it works." She describes, among other setups, an early-20th-century artists' ménage on an English estate and quotes an observer of it: "a triumph of reasonableness over the conventions."
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/katie-roiphe-on-successful-open.html

** A TV production company holds a casting-call event in Seattle for a future poly reality show, tentatively called "Real Life Big Love." A dozen or more polyfolks show up; two report back on what happened.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/major-cable-network-puts-out-poly.html

** "Strong nonmonogamous relationships are much like strong monogamous relationships," writes an advice columnist for Feministing.com. "The people involved talk about their feelings, their boundaries, and where they want the relationship to go." She lays out a seven-item "checklist for nonmonogamy." Elsewhere, a different dating-advice columnist snarks at a horror date: "We were no more than two minutes into our first drink when he dropped a bomb. 'I'm Polyamorous,' he said. I coughed slightly and rolled my lychee martini around in my mouth, waiting to feel shocked or react at all, but instead I kicked into dating survival mode...."
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/06/ask-professor-foxy-am-i-nonmonogamous.html

** "Why I Hate Monogamy": OpenSalon spotlights a fiesty essay by a triumphal enthusiast for her 23-year open marriage.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/06/why-i-hate-monogamy.html

** Dan Savage on dumb therapists who don't get it, and on Tristan Taormino, who does.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/05/dan-savage-on-dumb-therapists.html

** A roundup of rather different takes on poly in the gay world (including Dan Savage again).
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/gay-poly-roundup.html

** "Are Bisexuals the Glue that Holds Poly Together?" With some statistics.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/04/are-bisexuals-glue-that-holds-poly.html

** An interview with Dossie Easton, co-author of *The Ethical Slut,* which is out in its second edition.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/05/interview-with-dossie-easton-ethical.html

** Poly YouTubers. With SpongeBob SquarePants.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/04/poly-youtubers.html

** Plus recent poly in the media in Mexico, Argentina, Portugal, Finland, the Netherlands, and France.

------------------

Here's the site:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com

The 10 most recent items are up front. Look in the monthly archives for more. The archives are also sorted by subject and sometimes location.

If you're on LiveJournal, here's the LJ friends feed:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

I've done 314 of these reports in the last four years. I hope you have as much fun browsing them as I do creating them!

Happy summer,

Alan

(Crossposted)

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

More Polyamory in the News

Alan — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 18:17:56 GMT

Polyamory keeps turning heads in the mainstream (and not-so-mainstream) media. If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last four months (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/), here's some of what you missed:

** On the Today Show site at MSNBC.com, a member of a happy poly quint discusses her household life and loves, finances and family meetings. 2,000 comments poured in the first day.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/02/happy-poly-quint-on-msnbccom.html

** Current TV profiles Diana Adams, sexual civil-rights lawyer and poly activist (and one of the brains behind the new Polyamory Leadership Network).
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/current-tv-profiles-diana-adams-poly.html

** The polyfolks behind the “Family” webcast series get profiled in the newspaper, interviewed in a video news report, and win over radio talk jocks.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/seattle-times-its-about-time.html
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/family-polyfolks-interviewed-on-radio.html

** Creating Poly Culture: a British soap, Hollywood, webcomics, and the strategic vision Cunning Minx laid out at the Poly Living Conference.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/creating-poly-culturea-british-soap.html

** Honorary polys of the recession. You don’t have to be romantically involved to live happily with your two husbands. But it does take poly-type attitudes, and may draw CNN to your door.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/honorary-polys-of-month.html

** “. . .and your NRE-besotted date nods and says ‘Oh, yes, I'm cool with that’ and smiles wonderfully at you, and you thank the Goddess that your date *gets it* -- and on both sides, DeNile flows down to the sea.” Advice on delivering the “I’m polyamorous” message.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/savage-love-on-poly-denial.html

** A Psychology Today columnist says we don’t exist, and we offer corrections.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/psychology-today-columnist-lays-egg-of.html

** A playwright explores poly themes in All My Love, running through May 10th in Chicago. With reviews.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/polyamory-play-opens-tonight-in-chicago.html

** “Dear Prudence: The teens hate my triad!”
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/02/dear-prudence-teens-hate-my-triad.html

** Morning shock jocks do a stinker. Remember that you can hang up on the air.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/02/morning-shock-jocks-do-stinker.html

** From Toronto, tales of queer poly life in the city.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/02/valentines-poly-gimme-more.html

** Poly permeating goth culture, and its use there as an identity-creating meme even among non-polys. . . parallel to how Christian student groups use their abstinence meme.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/01/goth-wannabe-and-christian-sexuality.html

** Dating-site advice by and for TNG (“The Next Generation”): “The more love you give away, the more you have to give.” At least for some. Understanding the options from the outset.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/more-love-you-give-away-more-you-have.html

** More poly awareness on campus.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/01/poly-awareness-on-campus.html

** Poly in happy Denmark: “Love: Spend four days with a confident husband and three with a fiery lover, put three toothbrushes in the holder, and skip the bad conscience when Christmas dinner ends with a trip to somewhere else.”
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/01/danish-poly.html

** Esquire magazine, in a thoughtful essay, proposes that “Big Love” and mainstream attention to polyamory show “that Americans are desperate to believe in a happy family again — any happy family. Far from declining under this revolution in who lives with whom, the American family is resurgent, even as it splinters into kaleidoscopically shifting arrangements of varying sizes and shapes and intensities.”
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/01/poly-and-family-in-esquire-magazine.html

------------------

Here's the site:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/

The 10 most recent items are up front. Look in the monthly archives for more. The archives are also sorted by subject and, in some cases, location.

If you're on LiveJournal, here's an LJ friends feed:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

I've done 284 of these reports in the last three years. Have fun browsing!

April cheers,

Alan

(crossposted)

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Poly Living Conference coming up

Alan — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 15:19:54 GMT

Just a note: If you'd seriously like to learn more about polyamory and
the people doing it, the Poly Living Conference is coming up the last
week in February outside Philadelphia:
http://www.lovemore.com/polyliving/polyliving2009.shtm

I've been to this before and can recommend it highly. Here's my
writeup of my experiences and impressions at the 2006 conference:
http://polyamoryonline.org/articles/poly_living_2006.html

And here is how the Washington Post covered the one in 2008:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/12/AR2008021203072.html

I'm going back this year. See you there?

Alan M.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

More Polyamory in the Media, from Fox News to Miss Manners

Alan — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 23:59:09 GMT

The last three months have seen a continued stream of polyamory in the news (as I’ve been chronicling at http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com). So where's the conservative backlash already? The coverage that we're getting -- the stuff that your worried mother is reading (and your boss) -- continues to range from neutral to remarkably positive, by and large. Even a Fox News commentator had decent things to say.

Have the bigtime conservatives shot their wad on this and quit? They've hardly peeped about us in more than a year -- aside from the pro-forma mentions, which haven't changed in maybe a decade, that after gay marriage polys are the next thing down the slippery slope to marrying goats.

Maybe they've realized that the more they call attention to us, the more people learn that polyamory is *actually possible.* So, have we been bracing for a storm that's not coming? I wouldn't bet on it; keep your wits and arguments sharp.

Meanwhile, if you haven't kept up with what the world is saying about us, here's some of what you recently missed:

** “Redefining Love and Sex in Middle Age” appears in WomenBloom, an online magazine for middle-aged women seeking to remake their lives. This long, thoughtful article presents poly as a serious option for expanding your later-life horizons, if you're suited for it.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/06/womenbloom.html

** Similarly, MomLogic interviews Loving More's Robyn Trask respectfully and approvingly about her life as a poly parent.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/06/husband-three-kids-and-two-boyfriends.html

** Here are reviews of the season's three new polyamory books, and news of two more in the works. Two of the books' authors, Tristan Taormino and Jenny Block, have been doing book-promotion tours and generating media along the way, nearly all of it sympathetic.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/06/three-new-poly-books.html

** For instance: “How not to become a desperate housewife”? Look into the poly option instead, suggests the mainstream London Sunday Observer, which sent a reporter traveling around with Block.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/07/sunday-observer-tails-jenny-block.html

** “Whom, and how, would you love if no one ever told you how it was ‘supposed’ to be done?” writes the Baltimore City Paper. “Think about it for a moment. Would you love men or women? Would you love for life? Would you love in series or in parallel? What would you do if you had to create the rules from scratch?”
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/07/jenny-block-gets-us-more-good-ink.html

** “Why is this stuff so hot right now?” asks Style in Virginia. The author of the piece doesn't try to answer this, so I give it a go.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/07/mnage-your-time-why-is-this-stuff-so.html

** A fifteen-year quad makes the news signing legal papers in California.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/06/15-year-quad-signs-legal-papers-in.html

** A mono guy at UC Berkeley marvels, in the student newspaper, at what polys can teach ordinary couples about how to do relationships well.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/08/sharing-wealth-mono-shows-his.html

** Everyone knows that polyamory is *hard* -- it demands serious work, jealousy will strike, it'll test you bigtime, this ain't for wimps. Right? Not always. A writer at a women's webzine describes how she and her two triad partners handled it as easily and naturally as if they were born to it. Some people are.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/08/just-like-that-we-became-triad.html

** Miss Manners, the standard-of-propriety newspaper columnist, advises on how best to introduce members of a poly triad to the more conservative guests attending a wedding.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/07/miss-manners-on-triad-introduction.html

** In “Scenes from a Group Marriage,” a nine-year-old boy, now grown, looks back on the good and bad that resulted when he unexpectedly went from having two parents to four. (The good: life in a big group household with extra parents and siblings. The bad: suddenly losing half his family when the grownups broke up.)
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/06/scenes-from-group-marriage-child-of.html

** A feminist leader of Polyamorous NYC takes a starring role in a documentary about open relationships on the Women's Entertainment Network.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/07/secret-lives-of-women-open.html

** This new addition to the collection of poly webcomics is my favorite yet:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/05/web-comic-begins-poly-saga.html

** An oddity: Russian TV news -- which has become almost as state-controlled and divorced from reality as it was in the Soviet era -- reports that millions of Americans are going wild for polyamory and displays New York City's huge Gay Pride parade as a polyamory event.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/07/this-just-in-new-york-goes-wild-for.html

** Elsewhere in ideology-driven TV, the "FOXSexpert" on the Fox News site discusses polyamory quite evenhandedly and muses on whether you can be in love with more than one person.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/07/foxsexpert-weighs-in.html

** Plus great coverage in Spain, Mexico, Portugal, and the Netherlands.

------------------

Here's the site:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/

The 10 most recent items are up front. Look in the recent monthly archives for more. The archives are also sorted by subject and, in some cases, location.

If you’re on LiveJournal, here’s an LJ friends feed:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

I've done 239 of these reports in the last three years. I hope you have as much fun browsing them as I did working them up.

Cheers,

Alan

P.S.: See you at Loving More East Sept. 5-7, and at Poly Pride Weekend in NYC Oct. 3-4!
http://www.lovemore.com/conferences.shtm
http://www.poly-nyc.com/pride.html

(Crossposted)

posted in Alternative Marriage - 1 reply

Stuff from Poly Pride Weekend

Alan — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 00:48:32 GMT

Boy, did I have a wonderful time at Poly Pride weekend in New York! If you weren't there, here are links to some of it.

Weekend wrapup:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/10/report-on-poly-pride-weekend-in-new.html

Tristan Taormino's ringing keynote speech to the crowd in Central Park:
http://www.openingup.net/2008/10/16/poly-pride-keynote/

Anita Wagner's "The Mainstreaming of Polyamory":
http://www.practicalpolyamory.com/images/The_Mainstreaming_of_Polyamory.pdf

My own speech. "Steering the Bandwagon":
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/10/more-from-poly-pride-weekend-my-speech.html

Leanna Wolfe's "On Kittens and the Very Invented Culture of Polyamory":
http://www.ejhs.org/volume11/Wolfe.htm

Media coverage of the weekend in the New York Times and New York Post:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/10/poly-priders-get-stories-into-two-new.html

For links to pix and videos, see the top link above.

Cheers, Alan

---------------------------------------------
Keep up with Polyamory in the News!
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/
---------------------------------------------

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

See you at Poly Pride Weekend in NYC, Oct. 3-5...

Alan — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:43:22 GMT

...get the full details here:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/09/poly-pride-day-coming-up.html

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Burning Man 2008 Hedonic Sensuous Massage Campmates

Sound Man — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 18:03:42 GMT

We are the organizers of the Burning Man 2008 Hedonic Sensuous Massage theme camp. Join us in offering sensuous massages to fellow "burners". No experience necessary. You only need to be a normally sensual person and willing to learn. We are a fun-loving group of amateur yet erotic men and women who seek the same to serve the community with an exceptional experience of a lifetime with the goal being their most enjoyable, happy, and sensuous massage ever. If interested, call Aloha and SoundMan at (775) 233-3608 and check out Aloha's myspace.com site "Aloha BRC Burner" at http://www.myspace.com/alohaburner for a complete description of our previous years' camps. We will be located at Gemini and 4:30

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Interview with Author Jenny Block on Open Marriage / Polyamory

evilgrrl — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 07:01:47 GMT

Great interview with Jenny Block, who just wrote a book on open marriage/polyamory. Her actual website is: http://www.jennyonthepage.com/index.html

Three's Company: Jenny Block Q&A
(5/21/2008)

A former Richmond writer lets the world in on her (not so) dirty little secret

Jenny Block is a writer who didn’t have to look far for compelling material. Her new book, Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, chronicles her private struggle to find common ground between conventional marriage and her own, less conventional sexual identity.

After much emotional trial and error, Block and her husband agreed on an arrangement that kept them happily married: she would have a girlfriend. Though the real-life love story sometimes reads like a blend of Desperate Housewives, Sex and the City and The L Word, it becomes clear that all the risqué drama leads to domestic bliss.

Ultimately, the 37-year-old Block’s message is that marriage comes in all sizes and shapes. Hers just happens to be a triangle.

Q: At what point did you feel the need to write about your private life?
A: About three years ago, I started searching the Internet and bookstores trying to find some information for myself. I wasn’t finding what I was looking for, but I was finding a lot of people out in the cyber-universe who were having conversations about these relationships and searching the same way I was. There were a lot of negatives out there that didn’t seem to be based in any kind of fact. So, even though it was scary, it seemed like there was something to be gained by putting a sort of girl-next-door face on something that I think is very natural and normal and average.

Q: How did your husband and then-girlfriend feel about it?
A: They were really supportive, and that’s what pushed me over the edge. My husband is very shy and quiet and totally the opposite of me, so if he was supporting me in it, then I felt really good about it.

Q: How do you handle the situation with your daughter?
A: It’s such a non-issue, because at her age [9 years old], she doesn’t really know anything about sex, and she doesn’t have any understanding that a lot of people connect marriage with sex or that there’s this rule about loving only one person. In her life, she loves lots of people. So that makes sense to her. We’ve always had people over. Whatever “best friend” I’ve had at the time has always come and hung out. She wouldn’t know the difference between any person’s roles. I liken it to other people’s private sexual lives and the way they keep it private from their children.

Q: What did your parents think?
A: My dad is a rabbi, and he’s very liberal and open. We’ve always talked about everything, but not sex in particular. But I came to my dad with this the same way I go to him for everything. I went to him on an intellectual level and said, “I need to know what you think about non-monogamous relationships.” He said, “I think they’re much more natural and more people would like to have them.” So I knew I was in a good spot. And when I told him, he couldn’t be any more unfazed. My mom’s only reaction was, “Just make sure you’re all talking and communicating and that everyone is happy and on the same page.”

Q: What’s the trickiest part of focusing on two people in a relationship?
A: I guess it’s the same as any kind of juggling — two jobs, two things to write, two children. In some ways I feel like I’m a better partner because I’m a hypersensitive partner. I cannot be careless with either of them. There’s too much at stake. I thought one partner was more difficult. This just seems to make sense to me. I understand that not everybody gets that, and I appreciate that. I don’t think this is for everyone, and I’m not prescribing it for other people. Yes, it’s hard. Is it any harder than a monogamous relationship? I think all relationships between human beings are tough.

Q: Since you’ve decided to be exclusive with your girlfriend and your husband, do you think the term “open marriage” still applies?
A: I wish I knew. The language is one of the biggest problems. When I first started talking about this open marriage, people were like, “Oh, you’re swingers? You go to sex parties?” And I was like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa … OK, we are obviously not down with the lingo.” We’re not saying what we mean to be saying. Is it still appropriate? I don’t know. I use it for lack of a better word.

There was a book in the ’70s, called Open Marriage, by a couple, the O’Neills. Two pages in that book talk about sex. What they were [mostly] talking about was maintaining your individuality, being open and honest with each other. So I’d like to think we’re part of that “open marriage” movement.

There are people who have all these interesting permutations of who they have romantic love relationships with, who they have family partnering relationships with and who they have sexual relationships with … It’s people trying to figure out something that people have been trying to figure out since the dawn of time, which is how to live and be happy and navigate relationships and sex and love — all the hardest and best parts of life.

Q: Do you identify with the gay community?
A: One hundred percent. I hate all the boxes and identifying, but if you ask me, I say I’m bisexual. I wrote the book in a gay coffee shop. You know, the gay community figured this stuff out a long time ago. In some ways because gays and lesbians can’t get married, that community has made up their own rules. If you’re not “allowed” to do traditional marriage, then “What is this relationship? How do we define it? What does this mean?”

Q: Your arrangement seems to scare some people. What do you think they’re afraid of?
A: I think they’re afraid of a couple things. Remember when you were in elementary school and you would chew a piece of gum in class? That one girl who always sat in the front row would catch you, and she’d tell on you. I remember thinking, “Why do you have to tell on me? I wasn’t bothering you. I wasn’t bothering anybody.” It’s almost like, “If I have to follow the rules and be miserable, then so do you.” And that makes me really sad. I think some people are so indoctrinated with their religion or morality or whatever [that] if they let go of that for one split second, their entire universe would come tumbling down. I mean, imagine if I’m on to something. Imagine if I’m “right.” What would that mean? —Pete Humes

http://www.richmondmagazine.com/ME2/dirmod.asp?sid=&nm=&type=news&mod=News&mid=9A02E3B96F2A415ABC72CB5F516B4C10&tier=3&nid=BEBEC0BA54214E1DA53ED1FA4D959622

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Three new poly / open marriage books

Alan — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 22:13:51 GMT

I've written reviews of the three new (and very different) polyamory and open marriage books that have just come out:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/06/three-new-poly-books.html

They are
*The Polyamory Handbook* by Peter J. Bensen
*Open* by Jenny Block
*Opening* Up by Tristan Taormino

Enjoy.

Alan M.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 2 replies

Branding class with Fakir Musafar

Phil — Mon, 26 May 2008 20:52:28 GMT

Tomorrow night May 27---The Kiss of Fire, the ABC's of Branding

At the SF Citadel
1277 Mission Street
San Francisco, Ca 94103

8:00 PM to 10:30 PM
Doors open at 7:30 PM

Admission $20.00

Ever wonder what it's like to brand or be branded?

This evening, the renowned Fakir explores the history, myths and realities of this exotic practice. Fakir will demonstrate practical ways Misters and Mistresses can permanently imprint their subject by fire-direct, multiple strike and electro-cautery tools and techniques.

The class will include a vivid slide show of brands being done, results and how-to information on the making and application of "The Kiss of Fire".

Fakir will do several live brands on volunteers.

Volunteers are requested for the demos. Interested?

Contact Fakir Directly at: Fakir@fakir.org

For more information on this dynamic and world renown presenter/teacher and recent inductee into the Society of Janus Hall of Fame, visit his web site at www.fakir.org.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

anyone into spouse swapping?

Wed, 21 May 2008 01:23:52 GMT

just curious

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

New Wave of Positive Poly Media Coverage

Alan — Sun, 18 May 2008 17:22:34 GMT

If you haven't been reading Polyamory in the News (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/) in the last three months, here's some of what you missed:

** "Internet Pushes Polyamory to its Tipping Point". If this Wired Magazine writer is right, the bandwagon is starting to roll downhill ahead of us. Should we quit just pushing and run up and grab the steering wheel?

** Redbook, Glamour, and Marie Claire magazines -- the things your aunt reads at the hairdresser -- all offer remarkably positive profiles of open and polyamorous marriages in their June issues.

** Jenny Block, whose book on her poly life comes out in a couple weeks, becomes a columnist for the Huffington Post. She asks us for our topic suggestions.

** Time magazine devotes four pages to the bonobo culture wars (waged in the Wall Street Journal and alternative culture, not among the apes themselves). Yes, Time concludes, the critters really do have something big to teach us about human possibilities.

** When Tilda Swinton won an Oscar her poly relationship raised much buzz, which she handled with aplomb.

** The Tilda Swinton buzz got Polyamory Weekly podcaster Cunning Minx a nice writeup in her hometown Chicago paper. And that got her on Chicago radio, to take on a couple of dumb morning talk jocks.

** Loving More magazine is back.

** "Gleaned through work with my clients and a series of in-depth interviews," writes a New York therapist, "I offer you some examples of non-monogamous relationships, the elements that have them be workable, the challenges that come along with them, and the reasons why the people have chosen to set up their lifestyles and love-styles thus."

** Akien MacIain, in a poly-versus-mono discussion on the radio: "In the beginning there was God. And God was infinite and knew everything, except what it was to be finite. So one day God split itself up into zillions of little bits and commanded them all forget that they were one, and to go figure out what it was to be finite. And so we are all those little bits of God the infinite, learning what is to be finite." Not what the mono side expected?

** Voice of America TV, in a global news broadcast, plays it down the middle.

** Poly 101 advice for Staten Island.

** Deep in the Bible Belt, a founder of Focus On Christ Ministries denounces polyamory as depraved -- and one of our people, trained by the Jesuits, returns a Biblical reply. Save this for discussions with your Christian relatives.

** And finally, best of all: the Washington Post covered Loving More's Poly Living Conference with a long feature article. Never mind the mild snarks and cringe-makers. This is the deepest, truest-to-life article about us that I recall in the bigtime media.

------------------

Here's the site: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ . The 10 most recent items are up front. Look in the recent monthly archives for more. The archives are also sorted by subject and, in some cases, location.

I've done 209 of these reports in the last three years. I hope you have as much fun browsing them as I did creating them.

Cheers,

Alan M.

P.S.: If you're on LiveJournal, you can friend the LJ feed for the site:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

New Mexico Polyamory Gathering and Seminar

Chewey — Fri, 02 May 2008 00:09:26 GMT

Loving More Loving Choices A Relationship Seminar
Presented by
Loving More Non-profit Organization
303-543-7540
Saturday May 10, 2008
Santa Fe , New Mexico
Holiday Inn
8:00am-6:00pm
Deadline for Early Registration, May 1, is almost here.

Loving More, the host of the longest running polyamory conferences, is
pleased to announce a new one day Seminar Series Loving Choices focused
on choosing what is right for you. Loving More brings over 22 years of
experience in teaching skills of alternative relating. Who says that
love has to follow a specific set of rules that limit how you love
others? Why pretend to be someone your not? Do you feel like you
can't be your honest self? Are you already involved in a
polyamorous relationship and looking to improve your relationship
skills? We invite you to attend Loving Choices seminar and learn ways
to enjoy being your authentic self.

Loving More is excited to bring this amazing seminar series for the
first time to New Mexico .

Workshops by

New Mexico's own Mim Chapman Ph.D.

Loving More Managing Editor Robyn Trask

Sex Educator Amira Rain

Loving More Board member Jesus Garcia

Workshops include a variety of important relationship topics including
Safe Sex, Communication and agreements that work, exploring the variety
of relationship choices, Myers-Brigs personality model and much more.
What you will learn
* New models beyond marriage and monogamy
* Communication Skills
* Being real and honest about what you need and want
* Making Agreements that work for you
* Dating finding people of like mind
* Managing Emotions and Jealousy
* Enjoying pleasure and letting go of shame
* Poly Living styles knowing what you want
* Polyamory 101

Who Should Attend
* those seeking to improve their polyamorous relationships and
deepen their connections with partners,
* people new to or exploring polyamory as a possible choice in their
personal relationships
* Therapists, counselors and others who work in the relationship
field.
* Those who are looking to better their relationships with new
points of view.
Evening Party with Live Entertainment
Following the Seminar is an optional Loving More celebration and
evening social. This is a chance to meet and socialize with other poly
friendly people. Food, beverages (non-alcoholic), and live musical
entertainment provided.
REGISTRATION INFORMATION Full Day (9:00am-6:00pm) Buffet Lunch
included

Seminar & Evening Social

Seminar Only

Pre-registered (by 5/1/08) ** Extended to May 5, 2008 for online only***

$125

$110

At the door

$130

$110
Half Day (limited availability, no lunch) Morning (9:00am-1:00pm) or
Afternoon (2:00pm-6:00pm)

Seminar & Evening Social

Seminar Only

Pre-registered (by 05/1/08) ** Extended to May 5, 2008 for online only***

$85

$65

At the door

$95

by arrangement
Social only
Pre-registered $30 Loving More members receive a 10% discount on
the seminar.
$25 Cancellation Fee - No Refunds After May 2, 2008

Space is limited and pre-registration is highly recommended. Call
before showing up at the door as we might to sell out.
Register online at www.lovemore.com <www.lovemore.com/> or call
303-543-7540

Loving More Non-Profit Organization.
PO BOX 4358
Boulder, CO 80306
www.lovemore.com <www.lovemore.com/>

© 2008 Loving More Non-Profit Organization. All Rights Reserved

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Is there a list of questions about open relationships to ask...

lolagawdhuny — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 04:14:59 GMT

Is there a list of questions [someplace] about open relationships to ask a partner [and yourself] to get on the same page? Are there basic aspects of open relationships that should be sussed out before diving in [do's and don'ts]? Are there some decriptions for different types of open relationship models that can serve as guidance without labeling them as "the rule" so much as pros and cons of each?

Yes a load of questions, but this is the place I think...

It would help if the response was in a bulleted format, a list of questions or a reference referral for a good source would be the response...not a long personal statement... [just a suggestion].

thanks

posted in Alternative Marriage - 4 replies

Out of Ideas and Going Down Fast

Angel_Wylde — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:31:35 GMT

*sigh* alright, here's the deal. I'm generally one of the ones giving the advice, I'd hope well. This time though, I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know what to do to deal with this situation, and if I don't ask for some help soon there's the possibility I will handle things totally wrong.

Reading my profile and such, you get the impression that my wife and I are very open people. The fact is, this is only half... well let's call it 3/4 true.

I love my girl. I love her like the Sun come down from the sky. That said, there is a growing rift starting which unless I get it checked one way or the other is gonna do us in. I'll explain.

While I've got alot of history in sex-positivity, deviant behavior in general. It has historically been almost impossible for me to maintain a sheerly vanilla monogamous relationship. I think it's important to note (not trying to be egotistical) that if I set my mind to it, I am almost razor sharp at seduction. I spent 2 years as a pleasure slave, learning everything from how to do makeup on any ethnicity in the world to bringing a woman to orgasm with nothing but the muscles vibrating in my throat. (hard to explain, harder to teach. lol) I mention it's easy, because it being easy makes the entire situation harder.

Linz, while having her own wild side in her youth was more along the lines of your typical drug-induced deviant-high-school-sex kinda thing. To her, while she indulged me more than once, that was a phase she's done with. My first hot-button here is that due to that fact it's terribly difficult to deal with the fact that she can't share in what has been my lifestyle in one way or another for a loooong long time.

I'm starting to freak out, juuuust a little. I've toned myself down as much as I could. I've suppressed everything from my very certain bisexuality to my tenancy toward the Grey area that lies somewhere between polyamoury and swinging. This has been an issue between us for quite some time. In the beginning, Linz was down for the occasional playtime with a guy/girl/both kinda thing. Still, it came up quite a bit that I'm comfortable in quite a different zone relationship wise than we're currently at.

In the past, jabs were traded, but short of that no resolution was really reached. Time goes by, I keep quiet until I'm about to explode, I try and draw her out, it gets swept under the rug, repeat.

The reason this is more complex than a simple resolve-communicate-or-leave kind of scenario is that in every way... EVERY WAY other than this we're perfectly matched. No deviant encounter has ever led me to a girl I felt as well matched with.

Still, this is my life, this is my personality. I feel resentment growing as I continue to deny this part of my personality, this part of myself.

I've tried to discuss this with people before, most notably my best friend. She commenced to freak out on me due to a year-old threesome we'd all had, and we're now no longer friends.

Just pointing out, that so far all this situation has done for me is take. It's taking my sanity bit by bit. I'm getting a shorter and shorter fuze about the subject, and it's even cost me one of the most important relationships in my life.

In the past, I would just start cheating. You can judge me all you like for that. To me, it's a matter of getting by. However, as you can probably imagine that leads to eventual discovery and disaster. I've been down this road a few times with significant others. Cheating or no, this will eventually overwhelm us.

I just don't know what to do, or to say, to anyone. I could continue the way I am and wait until it's too much and I wrap myself around someone who gets the one part of me my partner doesn't. I could put my foot down and what will likely happen is she will aquiese, at least occasionally, just for my sake, for awhile. Neither of those options are really acceptable to me, but for the life of me I can't find a third.

So I put it to you, perfect strangers. My friends have failed me. My almost macchiavellian ability to agument any relationship with it's missing parts elsewhere is just not good enough for me anymore.

I'm lost. No solution in the past will work here, and I'm fresh out of ideas. I'm frustrated to the point of rage, and feel the time coming where I will sabotage anything just to save something. If linz is part of that everything I may as well fall on my sword right now.

It's maddening, to match someone so perfectly in all but one way.

Especially when it's this.

PS: I'm cross posting this like mad, so you may see it again. I need an idea, an answer. Hope for my situation. Otherwise, I'm not exactly sure I won't become ground zero, and everyone left in my life become casualties.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 1 reply

Married but Single?

tln — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 18:03:18 GMT

I'm in need of advice regarding my situation with my wife and our poly lifestyle. At the moment my wife is in a dyad with another man, which is great! She's very happy with him and she and I are doing great on that front. She isn't really into triads / threesomes etc of any type at the moment and prefers to do one on one relationships; that's great too! So, basically I kind of feel like a single man in the poly world, if that makes any sense, since my wife isn't into looking with me.

I'm finding it difficult because I'm basically pretty bold and so, I ask women out when I can, some of whom are open to the fact that I'm poly (I always tell them before any formal date, what's going on for me). Thing is, am I barking up the wrong tree by asking people out that I find interesting, even if they are not Poly (or don't know that they are)? LOL, I guess you can see, I'm a bit confused about how to approach things. I seem to shy away, especially, from asking out a married woman, probably because I feel strange wanting to just date her and not her and her husband. I would prefer either 2 F and myself or just 1 F; the 2 guy one girl thing isn't my bag so much (at least right now) since I'm straight.

This is strange, I feel like I have all the rights of a single man, like I was before I was married, but, things are much different, of course being married and, due to social norms etc. I'm interested, really, in forming a significant relationship but some casual fun is totally cool too, but I have to feel a connection to the person.

Does location make a difference in this regard (bigger cites and / or geographical locations)?
Do most people seek out like minded people via groups of like mind?
Have people had any success with people who were not poly before you met them?
Do women in general tend to shy away from someone in my situation?

Thanks for you input : ) BTW, I'm fairly new to the lifestyle so forgive the NOOBIE stuff :P

TL. -- Salt Lake City, UT.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 2 replies

Need Ideas

Henry — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 07:44:26 GMT

HI,
My two ladies and I are doing a group hand fasting and wanted to know if you guys knew any good ply love type songs that would fit .

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Recent Polyamory in the News

Alan — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 02:32:35 GMT

If you haven't been reading Polyamory in the News (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/) in the last three months, here's some of what you missed:

** Today's Washington Post (Feb. 13) has a HUGE feature article on Loving More's Poly Living conference, held in early February. (I was there! Yay!) The article is remarkably perceptive and insightful. This is Big Time Stuff, getting talked about all over. Copy and save this one.

** Is the poly-vs-swinging debate finally settling itself? On both sides of this cultural divide, people seem to be deciding that it's a continuous spectrum on which you can position yourself where you wish. This takes on new relevance as swinging goes through an upsurge of mainstream attention -- which will increase when the primetime CBS-TV drama "Swingtown" debuts.

** For a couple opening up to poly, well-thought-out relationship agreements are a fine idea. But be prepared to outgrow them. In particular, don't get snagged by the Symbol Over Substance Mistake.

** "An Open and Shut Marriage" in the New York Times is a study in how not to try. How many blunders can you count here? Please -- research what other people have learned before setting out to reinvent this often difficult wheel. In the last 25 years the poly community has accumulated, through trial and error, a substantial body of wisdom.

** A chain of New Age magazines decides to spread a bit of this wisdom, in "Love Big."

** "Why is polyamory offensive? ...The most telling reason is that it makes people explore their own relationships and the fears that reside within...."

** A couple in Florida, brimming to share what they've found, announce Poly 101 workshops for the public and get nicely written up in their local paper. Maybe you can too.

** Rachel Kramer Bussell, a leading erotica author, wrestles with the Case for Open Relationships. "Polyamory is not a panacea; if you think you'll cure any and all sexual longings or be free of jealousy simply by taking on new partners, you're probably in for a rude awakening."

** Plus bunches of positive coverage in Spain (with TV-news video), Norway, Germany....

------------------

Here's the site: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ . The 10 most recent items are up front. Look in the recent monthly archives for more. The archives are also sorted by subject and, in some cases, location.

I've done 184 of these reports in the last two and a half years. I hope you have as much fun browsing them as I did creating them.

Cheers,

Alan

P.S.: If you're on LiveJournal, you can friend the LJ feed for the site:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Valentine's Day was originally a POLY Holiday ! (Book for Sale)

Monique — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 20:32:55 GMT

It is almost that time of year when the virtues of monogamous love
are celebrated and exalted everywhere.

It therefore seems the perfect time to hock the book my friend brings out every year at Valentine's Day.

If ever there was a holiday designed to exalt the glory of monogamous
romantic love, Saint Valentine's day would be it.

But if you look just a little bit below the surface - examine the
ancient poetry, imagery and "sacred literature" associated with Saint
Valentine's Day, you quickly discover that before "Saint" Valentine's
Day became dedicated to the glorification of monogamous love, it was
about celebrating forms of love that were much freer, more open, more
spontaneous and more expansive than monogamy.

Most contemporary people think of Cupid shooting each person in the
heart with ONE of his arrows as something that causes them to fall in
love with ONE specific person. But in earlier centuries, Cupid often
shot two, three or more arrows into the same person's heart, thereby
causing that person to "fall in love" with more than one person
simultaneously.

Modern Valentine's Day images usually depict only ONE Cupid. But
until recently, it was assumed there were numerous Cupids out there -
whole throngs, armies, and flocks of them, each one shooting multiple
arrows at people's hearts. Each of these Cupids had several different
kinds of arrows, each of which created a different kind of "love."
Some arrows created an very intense and physically-based sexual
attraction. Other kinds of arrows caused more of an emotionally- based
passion, while still others created a very intellectual type of
attraction. Depending on how many arrows a person was shot with,
which kinds of arrows a person was hit with and which part of their
body was struck with the arrows, people could be made to
simultaneously "fall in love" with many different people all at the
same time, each one in a slightly different fashion.

Most other popular symbols of Valentine's day, including
the "Valentine" shaped heart, red roses, and even chocolate belonged
to non-monogamous traditions of love, sexuality and romance long
before they were appropriated by monogamy.

By clicking on the link below, you will be able to preview the first
eleven pages of this book, free and for no obligation.

www.lulu.com/content/675158

Whether such a book like this interests you or not, I hope you all
have yourselves a wild Poly Lupercalia celebration. And if the mono's
try to give you any static about it, just tell them they're quite
welcome to use OUR holiday themselves if they want to, just as long as
they remember where they got it from.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

TRUE STORY THREE - alternative marriage or just swinging a bit differently? You decide.

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 22:27:17 GMT

REAL FRIENDS, REAL BENEFITS - MY FUCKBUDDIES.

I’m now 29 and often, when asked, can’t remember how many homes we have lived in over our 10 years of marriage. And we’re to be transferred again in three weeks, something that my husband’s business requires every six months to two years.

My husband has been a dedicated cuckold for a little more than two years. It took me awhile to understand him but he’d wanted this even before we married.

At his urging, I agreed to accompany him on visits to a video-viewing booth area of a local adult book and video store for two years. Over that time, many guys either joined us in our booth or poked their dicks through drilled holes between booths. I (usually) didn’t fuck them but enjoyed jerking’em off.

Unfortunately for both of us, my husband was required to regularly take a medication causing him to become mostly impotent. So, although he hadn’t mentioned his fantasy of another guy fucking me in more than a year, I had therefore found reason to renew the issue. It finally began to make sense to me.

I began dating an 18-year-old I met in a night class. After just one semester, he went away to another school so I began dating yet another fuckbuddy.

And during that time I met three women friends who enjoyed going out to places like rave clubs and male strip-bars. I didn’t care for raves but enjoyed watching my friends jerk off male dancers. Heck, I did it myself.

I occasionally returned home as late as 3 a.m. Sometimes my husband achieved an erection upon my retelling of these stories.

He won’t openly admit that he enjoys my experiences but it’s clear he does and loves being my cuckyboy. Truth be told, much of what I do is also for his pleasure.

So the third weekend before we were to be transferred yet again, two of those friends arranged a special “going-away night out” for me.

Janet at age 32 is the oldest of our little group and the only one who smokes. At 5’6” she was about 15 pounds overweight when we first met. She then began losing weight until she was now likely a few pounds underweight. Somehow this thinness, along with her no-nonsense demeanor and uncommonly self-confident deportment, her dark hair and blue eyes added a mysterious façade that attracted substantive attention from men everywhere we went.

Janet had something of a wild childhood. She told us that, following an even wilder middle school past, she fell into a particularly mischievous crowd in high school. By then, she was smoking dope and attending illegal street races. Often she served at the racers’ flag-girl. She graduated with decent grades. I can’t understand how.

But earlier in middle school, she was instrumental in forming a sex club that grew to 14 kids. They gathered at different homes every couple of weeks. After almost a year of this behavior, a neighboring couple complained of stereo noise at one of their member’s home. The cops arrived to discover a dozen naked and partially naked kids engaged in sex acts.

The school board transferred each kid to different schools and forbade any to socialize with another for the next two years. Their official edict wasn’t entirely successful but it broke up their frequent parties. And, of course, things remained a bit tense between the parents and their kids for a year or more.

Janet never ratted on her two-year older brother who was the club’s only older member. He hadn’t attended that evening. Although each saw the other having sex with others, she didn’t ever enjoy intercourse with her brother.

Marta, the most outgoing of our bunch, had another commitment that prevented her from attending that night. So that left just Evelyn and Janet to plan this special evening in my honor.

Evelyn, at age 24, unlike the divorced Janet, is married. She and her husband are swingers and nudists. Evelyn had invited Janet, my husband and me to join them at swap parties. But my husband explained he couldn’t get it up sufficiently for a party like that and begged off. Janet was satisfied with a string of boyfriends and also declined.

Evelyn is a svelte redhead with freckles and often is mistaken for a very young girl. Part of this age-identity confusion lies with her tendency to wear low-rider jeans and tight pullovers you’d expect on a adolescent student, far different from Janet and me who dress conservatively. I do that because I want to appear at least my age but sometimes it doesn’t work.

Janet’s two-year-older brother long had been eternally thankful he hadn’t attended that night those middle school fuckers was busted. Although Janet and I never went to the nudist camp with Evelyn and her husband, Janet told her brother about their offer and he frequently attended at the couple’s guest.

Most naturist parks bar single men but allow single women as members. The clubs prefer families to singles. Janet and I assumed her brother was probably one of their swinging partners as well but neither of us had asked.

A few months ago at the male strip club, Evelyn – as each of us often had done - was stroking a dancer’s long, lathered-up dick. Janet noticed a man nervously talking with the bartender and pointing toward us.

When Evelyn went to the bar a few minutes later for another drink, the bartender told her that the man had been concerned while observing her jerking off the dancer and he had assumed she was underage. The barkeep explained to him that he’d heard that complaint before and he personally knew Evelyn as an adult regular.

And minutes later that 42-year-old guy walked over to our table and asked Janet for a date. We guessed he was fascinated with this apparent “kid.”

Evelyn told him she and her husband were swingers and asked whether he was interested in threesomes. He enthusiastically agreed. Evelyn took his name and phone number. He has since swung with them several times.

Jan’s initial meeting with the man caused several pseudo-psychological analyses between the four of us. We guessed that his attraction to the young-looking Evelyn implied a pedophile personality.

Yet that night in the bar, he had been the only customer to protest when he thought she was too young to be there. We concluded that he probably denied his sexual preference and had displayed at that time an excessive fear of a 14-year-old holding an adult’s dick.

BACK TO THE PRESENT:

So now, Evelyn and Janet showed up at our door to pick me up for this unexplained “special” night out. My husband was intrigued and asked if he could go.

Janet said, “Absolutely not, Cuckyboy. We’ll give her something to tell you later.” She said this while drawing a line down his cock beneath his slacks.

Janet blindfolded me and drove us to Evelyn’s home. I asked if I looked like the Green Hornet, an old masked comic book character she displays on a poster above her bed back at her apartment. Janet replied, “More like the Green Horny.”

We arrived five minutes later and they hadn’t allowed me to remove the blindfold.

From their whispering, I recognized that it was Evelyn’s husband and the guy she had met at the strip club who greeted us at the door. I suspected now what they had planned. Evelyn’s husband had made no secret that he wanted to fuck Janet and me. I didn’t then realize that a third man was in the room.

I was about to remove my blindfold but Janet grasped my hands and said, “Oh no, not for awhile yet.” So I laughed and said, “Okay, I’ll play along.”

Amid giggles, I heard zippers and clothing falling away. Then someone gripped my wrists, raising my arms high as others undressed me.

The bar guy’s voice said, “Okay, now all women are to be blindfolded.” And moments later, it was done. Someone had turned on a stereo with soft music.

Evelyn’s husband announced, “We’re going to dance first. Throughout the night, each of the women will try and determine who the man they’re with might be. We’ll give points for correct the guesses and the winner receives a prize at the end of the evening.”

The third man added, “And since this party is in (my) honor, we wish her luck.” Everyone laughed, including me. Why was that funny? I don’t know. I guess you had to be there.

I said, “How can I guess if I don’t know who all of you are?”

They each introduced themselves. The third man said in his Philly accent, “And I’m Tony.” He’s Janet’s brother, so I assumed I was right guessing that he was among Evelyn’s threesomes. A fuckbuddy.

The problem with this game was that it was too easy. Evelyn’s husband is a big guy with thick hair. The older man we had met at the bar has a high forehead and thinning hair and was about 5’9”, three inches shorter than Ev’s hubby, and is much leaner. Jan’s bro has light reddish-blond hair that feels, well, fluffy. He’s slender also but about my height, 5’11”, with long limbs.

Ev’s husband was the first to dance with me. Our naked bodies pressed together through the last half of a song that had begun before the dancing began. His semi-erect penis curled to the side against my hip. Evelyn was dancing with the guy from the bar and Jan found herself pressed naked against her brother.

Partners changed as the song ended. Jan’s brother danced with me. I didn’t need to remove my broad blindfold to realize that he sported a horse-sized woody.

His cock had swollen while dancing with his sis and stood straight out. He rotated his hips until his rigid penis pressed all the way through the part between my legs. The upper part of his long shaft thrust aloft, tightly against my groin. His cock’s large head protruded so far out the back of my legs that I felt his broad dickhead pulsating against my buttocks.

His hips rotated against mine, causing the upper portion of his cock to hotly massage my clitoris. Soon I gasped for breath as he kissed me full on the lips. My hands gripped his buttocks. My hips rolled against his, masturbating my clit on his dick until I was about to explode.

But the song ended and I then was dancing with Evelyn’s husband. His stiff prick curled up toward his belly and throbbed against my stomach. With slow fucking motions he pressed his dick up and down in the narrow space between our tummies.

All women were moaning. One man groaned. Evelyn voice tremored as she said, “I can’t wait any longer! Somebody fuck me!”

“That’s the next part of the game,” her husband said. “Keep your blindfolds on.” They led us three women to the living room’s liquor bar and urged us forward, bracing our hands against its edge, our legs spread invitingly.

He went on, “This won’t be as easy to guess. A penis will enter your pussies from behind. If any woman attempts to feel the body behind her while being fucked, she will be disqualified.” None of us had group sex together before and I was certain someone would object. But I didn’t intend to protest.

Janet’s brother removed our blindfolds. Ev’s husband said behind us, “Although the blindfolds are off, you’re not allowed to turn around. Only one woman will be fucked at a time. The other two women will try to help that woman cum. Each man will attempt not to ejaculate before all women are fucked. We don’t need a guy with a used-up softie.”

Someone turned off the overhead lighting and dimmed the room’s only table lamp. The lamp’s bulb was red, casting a rosy glow about the room.

Each woman now was in a high state of excitation with no resistance left to protest anything. Our bodies shivered as each of us glanced to the other. Tears streaked Evelyn’s cheeks. Janet’s lips quivered. My teeth chattered and my cunt steamed with lust.

Jan’s brother leaned across the bar and smiled at me, saying, “Because the party is in your honor, you’re first.”

My voice squeaked a weak “Okayyy…” A dickhead parted the mouth of my eager pussy. My hips rotated wantonly as it slithered into my lubricated depth. I was ooo-ing and begging him to fuck me hard. Whoever the guy was behind me trembled as much. His hot breath steamed onto my bare back.

Janet’s hands stroked my breasts as she leaned to the side, watching the cock pound into me. Evelyn’s fingers crept to my clitoris and twirled in unison with the man’s fucking. Janet leaned to nurse a nipple.

I forgot about trying to guess who my fuckbuddy might be. Evelyn’s slippery fingers were about to bring me to orgasm.

He withdrew against my protest but another cock replaced his. This guy gripped my hips as he rammed into me. I realized it was Jan’s bro. He had the longest dick I’d known. If his prick had a normal width rather than it’s slender length, he’d have split me apart. That big cockhead though caused me to squeal in surprise as it rammed through my tender vagina.

I pleaded, “Please don’t take this one out,” but he withdrew, replaced by the third. I couldn’t tell whether this was Bar Guy or Evelyn’s spouse. All were good.

Now my orgasm roared over me like a freight train. I bawled and exploded, as I screeched, “It’s so fuckin’ fine! I’m a’wash in dicks!”

I released my grip on the bar and hugged Janet and Evelyn against me. Evelyn’s hand cupped my mound and Janet madly nursed my breast as my climax crested and ebbed.

Evelyn was next to sample their cocks. With Janet’s help, I assisted Evelyn as well as they had served me.

Then, at Janet’s turn, she gritted her chattering teeth while bracing her fists against the bar. Her eyes rolled to the ceiling. As if it had just occurred to her, she said, “I assume only two of you guys will be doing me. I mean, one of you is … my brother!”

No one answered. The silence, it seemed, was telling. I gulped and looked down at her brother’s anxiously long cock.

Evelyn and I stroked her shuddering body through the first two men who mercilessly pounded into her helpless cunt.

But Janet hadn’t climaxed and bawled, “Doesn’t seem fair! I’m so fucking hot!” The bar guy said, “You’re right. But it’s not over, Baby.” He tugged her brother’s arm and led him to his sister’s buttocks until his cockhead bobbed against her shuddering anus.

Evelyn and I were stunned. Unwanted incest seemed so over the top. I was speechless, frozen in place. But Evelyn raised her eyes questioningly at the guys, giving no hint to Janet as to her next invader would be.

Bar Guy turned off the lights, plunging the room into total darkness.

Janet squealed, “Ohhh my gosh!” as the hot dick entered her pussy, then withdrew completely. Evelyn’s husband gripped Jan’s shoulders, turning her around to face her fucker.

But in this darkness she couldn’t determine the identity of that man she now faced. He urged her back to the carpeted floor. She said, “Oh, honey, I am so hot! Do me.” We didn’t know whether she suspected it was her brother.

As our eyes adjusted to the dimness we could make out only two naked forms, intertwined and writhing before us.

The invader parted her thighs and kneeled between her legs. His dickhead divided her churning cunt. She returned each thrust, rocking rhythmically.

The man raised his head, his body stiffened. He groaned, about to cum. Jan moaned feebly and pleaded, “Cum with me. Fuck me. Fill me up with your hot juice!”

His body stiffened. Janet screamed, “I’m a’cummin! Oh my gosh!” A Philly-like accent groaned, “So am I. I’m cumming in your hot cunt!”

And then, all of us, including the powerless Janet, immediately recognized that voice! Her brother’s voice.

Oh Honey, that moment was so fucking hot! We women and the other two men were masturbating whoever was nearest, each hoping we’d cum again.

I didn’t then know, and don’t know now, whether the hand on my hot cunt was that of a woman or man. I’m really not bi, but I didn’t care. I was coming again.

Janet’s body rippled in multiple orgasms. Then someone turned on the lights.

It wasn’t her brother who had fucked her. It was Bar Guy.

Her brother had leaned against Bar Guy’s face at their moment of orgasm and said those words I’ll never forget, “So am I. I’m cumming in your hot cunt!”

He kneeled beside his sis and pecked her on the cheek as if apologizing for that moment’s unforgivable shock.

Jan wasn’t buying it. Her eyes squinted furiously and she punched him hard on his shoulder. He reeled back, laughing at his successful ruse.

The rest of us were rolling on the floor in laughter. Janet smirked at her bro. Never say Jan can’t take a joke.

Evelyn and her husband drove me home that night. To my wonderment, Janet drove her brother home. To her condo! Not his apartment. Hmmm.

Everyone had forgotten about that “prize” to be awarded for the most correct guesses. I’m not sure who won anyway.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

TRUE STORY TWO - incest or alternative marriage? You decide.

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 22:26:07 GMT

My First Fuckbuddy

And the strange story that followed . . .

My husband became mostly impotent three years ago after he began taking a medication. I’m now 29. I was just 19 when we married and he was 36.

Even before we married, he often related a fantasy of me having sex with another man, a desire I then didn’t understand. But by then, 8 years later and taking into account our marital circumstances, I began to consider the possibility. I’d often dream about being naked with faceless men, each with a generous-sized penis.

I began taking night classes at a local college and met a young classmate 9 years younger and who sat just behind me. I was then 27. I’m particularly tall and Jeff was a couple inches shorter than me He’s slender and long-limbed, with brown eyes and light brown hair.

He walked me to the parking lot after the first night’s class and talked about whatever came to mind. He asked if I’d be interested in going for coffee at a pub a couple of blocks away and I agreed. I lost track of time until noticing more than two hours had passed.

We kept up this routine at the pub over the following two weeks. By the third week, I was altogether aware that Jeff was attracted to me by his persistent touching of my hand. As we were about to leave, he stood. I glanced to his groin. I stared wide-eyed at his hefty erection until he became aware of my interest. I smiled approvingly but neither of us commented on what had just occurred.

That night upon arriving at home, I asked my husband that night if he was truly serious about me wanting me to have sex with another man.

He said, “Oh, yeah! Did anything happen tonight?” I told him all about Jeff. He enthusiastically approved of encouraging this guy to do me. He added that I “deserved” some dick since he wasn’t able to perform.

I nodded agreeably and said I’d “think about it.” But I’d realized immediately after saying that, I had already made up my mind. I wanted this guy to fuck my brains out. I’m not sure why I didn’t admit it.

After the following week’s class, Jeff suggested that I leave my car in the school’s parking lot and ride with him in his van. I rode alongside as he drove into the pub’s dark parking area. Instead of opening the door to get out, he turned to me. I returned his gaze. He reached for my hand. I stroked his arm and he leaned to kiss me.

I stroked his throbbing hard-on. He led me by a hand to the back of his van and closed the drapes of its windows. He urged my back to the carpeted floor. I unzipped his fly, pulling out his cock. It bounced against my face and I gasped at his 7 and a half-inch length, nearly twice the size of my husband’s. The only longer prick I’d ever seen was that of my younger brother when I lived at home. Soon our clothes piled between the bucket seats and our naked bodies intertwined. Our groins humped against the other’s. I pleaded, “Oh yeah, do me. Do me now. I’m so hot! I need your hot cock inside me.”

He kneeled between my quivering thighs. I wrapped my bare legs around his waist and looked down at the narrow space between our bodies as his walnut-shaped dickhead entered my eager cavity. Only four boys or men had ever been inside me and those were now in the distant past.

I moaned as my body shuddered. He slammed deep into my wet cunt and a billion stars lit up the van. My heels thumped against his ramming buttocks.

He turned me to my knees. My head swiveled around as he entered my vagina from the rear. My hair swirled wildly in the warm air.

He groaned and his body stiffened. His hot lava rocketed through his cock and spurted inside my vaginal walls. I squealed in multiple orgasms.

Somewhere during the first few times he was thrilling me with his sizzling dick, he began calling me “Mom.” I immediately recognized his apparent incestuous fantasy and told him “Oh, yeah, I wanna feel my little boy’s big cock in Momma’s pussy.” His excitation soared to new heights. We writhed in ecstasy.

Our couplings increased to two or three nights each week. I often staggered home as late as 3 a.m. Neither of us could get enough. I told my husband each night of our escapades in detail and those were the only times he was able to get an erection.

Because I was often sore from Jeff’s dick, I’d suck my husband’s cock and deny him entry into my pussy. He never complained. Once my husband made a surprising confession, “I’d even suck his dick if you wanted me to.” He never repeated that though, insisting he wasn’t bi.

Near semester’s end, Jeff received acceptance from an out-of-state school. He had previously suspected a rejection slip from that university, so this was of great importance to him.

The night of our last class, his car wouldn’t start and I drove him home. He invited me in to meet his mother, a successful corporate manager who had divorced her husband five years before. He had a two-year-older sister who was away at a chef’s school.

I was surprised to hear him introduce me as “the friend” he had talked about so much. I hadn’t thought he would mention me at all since I was married.

His mother is a knockout, a long-legged blond with curves in all the right places. Her breasts are lovely, larger than mine. She grinned knowingly, implying she suspected our relationship was also physical and not just friends.

Just a couple of days after Jeff left for his new school, his mother phoned to tell me she had come across a red sweater I’d left at their home. I’d forgotten it. Later, I would realize that I stupidly had left it lying on the floor of his room a month before.

She invited me over to their home for a drink. We agreed the following evening would be good for each of us.

When I arrived, his mother greeted me with a handshake but held my hand longer than necessary. I didn’t pull away. She was dressed in thin white slacks and a translucent white blouse, both of which clearly conveyed that she wore nothing beneath.

She invited me to sit by patting the back of the couch alongside her. After a few minutes of chit-chat, she said, “I’m not sure how to put this without making you feel uncomfortable. Believe me, whatever happened is okay with me. I’m just asking for personal reasons.”

I told her, “It’s okay. I think I know what you’re going to ask.”

Upon her questioning, I admitted that Jeff had been fucking me for some time.

She responded, “I thought so. I wanted to thank you.”

I had now relaxed and asked her to explain. She said, “Jeff offhandedly mentioned to me that he often called you ‘Mom.’ I guessed correctly how that came about and thought you might want to know his motivation.”

Her story spilled out. His mother had come to realize that her son had a strong desire for an incestuous relationship with her. And because of one recent incident, she assumed he wanted sex with his older sister as well.

She explained, “Jeff has his own bath down the upstairs hall from his room.”

I already knew that because we had fucked in his room twice when no one else was home. I didn’t tell her that.

His mom went on, “But Jeff often came down to the master bath next to my bedroom. He would walk in when I was naked on his way to my shower. I’m sure he waited outside in the hall until he was sure I was nude and then walked in at that time.

“After his shower, he would walk back to my room with nothing on except occasionally a towel around his neck. Typically, he sported a hard-on. Made no effort to hide it. He seemed proud of it.

I asked how she reacted and she told me she pretended to ignore his nakedness and stiff cock.

Because she was also nude, she was tense the first couple of times this happened. But eventually she became accustomed to it and just had conversations with her son. The tension was still there but it was easier to control. His stiff prick never seemed to soften.

She said, “You understand what I’m saying?”

“Sure,” I said. “He wanted to fuck you.”

She said, “Thanks. I like people who are direct. He did the same with his sister and she told me that she occasionally was tempted to jerk him off. I understood. So did I. But I was concerned about the potential long-term effect on all of us if either his sister or I allowed our natural desire to play with Jeff’s big dick. It would be even worse if we lost our heads and fucked him. I explained that to her and she understood. We decided to do nothing for awhile at least.”

“And then, you came along.

So now I understood what she was getting to. I was her son’s surrogate mom. She went on to say that he hadn’t been walking in on her or walking in on her or his sister with his hard dick since he and I had begun fucking.

Then, on at least one occasion, not long before her son and I had begun dating, he entered his sister’s room while she was sleeping. He picked up her limp hand and wrapped her fingers around his rigid cock.

His sis awoke but didn’t want to embarrass him by making a scene. She pretended to remain asleep. She told her mom that she might have betrayed this charade because her hand firmly gripped his warm cock.

He pumped his hips into her hot hand until he spurted onto her sheets. He removed her fingers and slipped quietly out of the room. She admitted her grip was unyielding at first but she ultimately released it to his prying fingers and believed he mostly likely recognized she wasn’t asleep after all.

Their mother laughed as she finished this story and added, “So I guess she was disappointed in letting it go, but she didn’t admit that to me.”

Later that night, as I was standing in the doorway and preparing to leave, she leaned forward and kissed me full on the lips. I held her face and returned a lingering kiss.

Our groins rubbed against the other a moment and we disengaged, exchanging knowing smiles. She isn’t gay or bi, but the excitement of telling her story and my admitting that I was fucking her son had excited us both. Nothing else developed from that brief interlude.

After that night, his mother and I became fast friends. We were open in conversation, over the phone or face-to-face. She phones each time her son is expected home from school and arranges our get-togethers. A few times when his sister is away, these dates have been overnight at their home with Mom’s approval.

His sister has since become fully aware of the relationship and endorses it.

Because he’s away so much, they know that I date another guy for sex whenever either of us feels the need. Everyone understands that Jeff and I are just fuckbuddies. But ours is a semi-incestuous relationship as well. Well, okay, it’s really a pretend-incest relationship, not a real one.

Although I was never involved in any sort of sex with relatives, this ongoing “pretend” liaison between Jeff and me has caused in me a perverted interest in incestuous novels and movie. I buy both over the internet.

I guess the closest I ever came to committing incest was when I lived at home. I occasionally came upon my younger brother naked and on a few of those occasions he had an erection.

He once was masturbating when I walked into his room to talk about a school problem with which he’d earlier asked for help. He apologized and put his dick away. I just shrugged and said, “Forget it, I won’t tell.” The only interesting part of that to me was how big it was when super-hard. I had stared wide-eyed at his pale veined length until it disappeared into the jeans’ fly and gulped.

But I had no thoughts of incest with him and I’m sure he didn’t either.

I wasn’t the only one affected by Jeff’s fantasy. Although we don’t do this in front of Jeff’s sister, he, his mother and I have watched perhaps a dozen adult-incest videos at their home when he’s home from school and rented them from a local store. His mom and I once commented on his erection but understood and admitted those films aroused us. We had seen his other hard-ons in response to the videos but usually said nothing about it. On at least a couple of times, we just grinned or winked at the other whenever he wasn’t watching.

All of us admit these carefully selected videos are hot. But his mother and I realized her son had crossed an important threshold when he said, “It’s stimulating to imagine but it’s impractical in the long run.”

I never discuss my little perversion with anyone else except my husband.
And, with all this interest in family sex, I’m just glad my brother doesn’t live in the same state as we do. I’m kidding. I’d never fuck my little brother.

My husband in one of his weirder moments once asked whether I’d consider just jerking my bro off. I told him to “get a life” and he never brought it up again.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

TRUE STORY ONE - how alternative can one get?

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 22:25:01 GMT

I'm now 29. My husband, 17 years older, has had a fantasy of watching me with another man even before we were married 10 years ago. Just a month shy of two years ago, he asked if I'd accompany him to an adult video store.

At the back of the store was a long hallway with 20 video-viewing booths on each side. Business was slow that night and only a couple of customers were in the hall's booths. We were watching a video in a curtained booth and another guy peeked in at us. He looked very young, at least five years younger than my 26 years at the time. I'm 5'11" and he was about two inches shorter than me.

He asked if we minded if he watched with us. I said no and he joined us behind the booth's curtain. He stood alongside me and unzipped his pants. He pulled out his dick as he stood alongside me, my husband standing behind me and staring at us.

As the stranger jerked off, he carried on an ordinary conversation with such comments as, "So, are you two from around here?" and the like. I felt at first as if I had entered an alien land.

I hadn't had a lot of experience seeing other men's penises. My husband's is small, just a couple of inches when soft. At 18, I'd dated a guy with a six-inch dick. Although my younger brother's was larger, that man's still seemed enormous to me at that time.

I couldn't stop staring and my heart was pounding. His cockhead seemed as large as my husband's entire size when semi-erect.

My husband pulled out his penis and began stroking in unison with the guy. My heart thumped as I glanced from one to the other rigid cock.

Gasping, I leaned against a wall. Each watched me. I unbuttoned my blouse. They gazed in excitation at my naked breasts.

The guy's eyes glazed over. He reached to fondle a breast and exploded immediately. His face reddened as if embarrassed and he stuffed his sausage back in his pants. He breathed a, "Thank you," to us and slipped quietly from the booth, scurrying down the hall to the exit.

I didn't then know that I was soon to learn that penises come in many shapes, colors and sizes.

***

The following week, my husband asked if I wanted that night to visit the store again that Saturday. I chewed my lower lip, hesitantly, but ultimately agreed, "Yeah, sure. Last Friday was, well, really different!"

This time we left the curtain open. A guy about 30 walked twice by our booth and made eye contact. I smiled. He asked to join us and I nodded affirmatively, unable to speak.

He closed the curtain behind him and my husband dropped a handful of coins into the video machine. The guy stood alongside me and I let my hand brush the bulge in his jeans. He groaned. I unzipped the fly and pulled out his dick, asking if he wanted me to jerk him off. He said, "Please."

I stroked his hot and firm length. Although his face was porcelain pale, his shaft was dark with large purplish veins. It curved up to his belly. Curling my fist around this stiff rod, I gasped as an electric shock ran through my body.

His body shuddered. He groaned and I pointed his dickhead away from me as his love juice ejected onto a wall.

He zipped up, nodded a "thank you" and walked out of the booth and back toward the door leading to the bookracks.

Two weeks passed and my husband hadn't suggested we return. So I asked if he wanted to try finding another prospect at the video booths. He said, "Sure. I was concerned you wouldn't go back."

***

AFTER SEVERAL VISITS: I was wearing tropical cotton slacks and a tube top when we greeted the storeowner's son and made our way back to the viewing booths. By now, he had figured out what we were up to each time we were here and winked at me.

A first-year college student spotted us as we were trying to find a newer video we hadn't yet seen. He poked his head from his curtain and said, "I found a good one if you want to watch with me." My husband and I smiled at the other and walked in alongside the guy.

He talked as the movie was winding down and told us he'd start it over. He told us he was 19 and single. We hadn't any lengthy conversation with the men we had met under these circumstances. Each encounter typically had been no more than a jerk off party. I'd masturbated myself in sort of a circle along with my husband and one or two other guys and once with another married couple who had invited us to join them.

But this guy acted older than his years and we immediately liked him. My husband, who's 17 years older than me, for reasons I couldn't fathom, introduced me as his "daughter." This was somewhat believable. Even then at 27, I was often asked to present my ID whenever we walk into any place where alcohol is served.

Somehow, this excited the young guy more than most we had met here. But he seemed somewhat hesitant to begin a mutual masturbation party. So I rubbed my open hand against his erection beneath his tan jeans and asked, "Would you like me to masturbate you while we watch?"

He said, "Oh yeah!"

My husband stood on the booth's low stool to get a better view of us.

I removed my tube top as he unzipped his jeans. I pulled on his rod as my husband watched and jerked off. He bucked against my hand. I turned to my husband and sucked his trembling length.

The guy's voice quavered as he said, "Wow! You and your dad are really close."
.
It was all I could do from bursting out in laughter. I said, "Sort of an unusual family, I guess. Daddy's been fucking me since Mom left."

The three of us simultaneously left the store after both had ejaculated and the guy sat with us in the darkened back of our van in the store's parking lot. After petting, we removed our clothes and he fucked me as my husband watched. He would be only one of four guys whose dicks I allowed inside me during the two years we visited this meeting place.

Before leaving for his car, he asked me for a date. I turned to my "father" and asked if it was "...okay, Daddy?" My husband said, "Sure, honey. Seems like a nice boy."

We had two enjoyable dates. But on the third time out, we were dancing naked in his apartment near his school when his girlfriend used her key to walk in on us.

I pulled on my jumpsuit and zipped up as she was screaming at him. I grabbed my purse and waved goodbye, scurrying out the door. In this heated situation, I hadn't realized that I'd left my bra but I didn't return to get it.

He never called again, but we saw their pictures in the local newspaper's wedding announcements six months later so I guess they worked everything out. He had never told me he had a girlfriend. He hadn’t even mention that anyone had a key to his apartment.

After that story he had told Jeff about being my "father," my husband often introduced me as his daughter whenever we met a man there. Sometimes, just for fun, he made this claim to waiters at restaurants.

We began selecting incest videos more often than most other genres while here.

***

Occasionally, maybe five times total, not just one but two guys had walked into the viewing booth area together. On those occasions I was jerking off both simultaneously but had to leave my husband to take care of himself.

One of the more memorable was the time that two guys nervously walked into our booth and told us they were fellow students who then lived in the same dorm. They couldn't have been more different. The guy named Bill was tall, long-limbed and lean, with short blond hair. His dick was about average size and felt good in my hand. His brown-haired friend was about 5'7", with a cock that seemed nine or ten inches long, another record for me.

We stood in a line watching a hot incest video about a mom and son, a guy on each side of me as I stroked their hot pricks. The shorter guy unbuttoned my blouse and nursed a breast. I gasped, awash in dicks as the other lifted my skirt and inserted his cock between my bare legs from the back.

The taller of the two reached behind me and his hand encircled my husband's stiff rod to jerk him off while I was doing those two.

***

Except for that brief interlude with Jeff who had fucked me in our van, we made a trip to the book and video store regularly over more than a year and half, about once every two weeks, until the place closed down two months ago.

A few weeks before it was to close, the owner's son was behind the counter and had by then come to know us and what we were up to. We chatted often with him and he told us that he and his father were selling the property because of that area's vastly inflated commercial property. The asking price would have assured them they'd never need to work again but each had other plans for new businesses. This was our community's last adult book store with private video booths.

As a going-away gift, he presented us a half-dozen swingers magazines from his backroom inventory and suggested we could use them to continue our adventures. He, his sister, and parents were swingers and were swinging with several local couples and singles who advertised in the mags.

He stapled his personal card with phone number atop one of the mags and told us we would be his guests at a swingers party or a local annual swingers ball if we wished.

He told us that Jeff had stopped in a few times since he'd married and they talked about the "father and daughter" Jeff had met there. The store manager knew better but didn't rat on us; instead, he had elaborated on the story by adding that I had a "brother" who looked just like Jeff. He said Jeff thought that was the most exciting story he'd heard in his life.

After the store's property sold, we phoned the young man who gave us his card and swingers magazines and attended two parties at local homes of his friends. We decided we wouldn't be into swinging for the long run. I enjoyed giving the hand jobs though.

Those video booths gave us a lot of great memories and we still talk about several guys we met there.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Polyamory Hotel Conference- Poly Living 2008

Chewey — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 03:48:58 GMT

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Date: January 17, 2008
Contact: Robyn Trask, Managing Director, Loving More® Non-Profit Organization
Phone: (303) 543-7540
Email: Robyn@lovemore.com
Web Site: lovemore.com

LOVING MORE® non-profit presents Poly Living 2008, bringing together the polyamory community and those who love more.

Loving More®, is excited to bring back Poly Living, February 1-3, 2008, Philadelphia, PA, with an incredible line up of speakers. The weekend conference, the largest of its kind, will feature keynote speaker and Author Dr Deborah Anapol. Deborah has been a leader in polyamory community and information. Her book The New Love Without Limits, is the most widely recognized and best selling book on polyamory around. The conference will also feature Dr Ken Haslam, major supporter of the Kinsey Institute, Robyn Trask, Loving More’s managing director, Polyamory and sex activist Anita Wagner and many others. They will cover a wide range of topics designed to improve relationships and sexual understanding. Poly Living features a balance of fun, education and personal growth workshops and entertainment. Saturday night will feature a viewing of Dr Mim Chapman V/P Dialogues, a fun and educational program on sexuality and sexual issues for both sexes.

"We are so honored to have Dr Anapol speaking this year for us. She was one of the founders of Loving More and has great insights on not only Poly Relationships but on relationships of all kinds," said Managing Director Robyn Trask. "This conference is designed to give people opportunities to learn about choices in intimate personal relationships as well as supporting those who choose to love outside the confines of monogamy all in an environment that is safe. We offer people a place to learn and grow in their own unique polyamorous relationships as well as the skills to help all their relationships work.”

”More and more people are looking to find other forms of relating with romantic partners as traditional marriage and relationships fall apart for many modern couples” explains Loving More’s Managing Director Robyn Trask. “What we offer is an opportunity to learn to love a new way with commitments, loving intimacy and real communication. With 50% of first marriages ending in divorce and 80% of second marriages following suit it is not surprising people are opening up themselves for something new and possibly more realistic.” This believes Robyn is in part responsible for the surge in interest in polyamory both from the media as well as public interest.

See the schedule of amazing workshops and facilitators at www.lovemore.com

About Loving More®

Loving More Non-Profit Corporation
PO Box 4358
Boulder, CO 80306
303-543-7540
www.lovemore.com

Loving More® is a non-profit organization and magazine dedicated to information, education and support of polyamory and open relationships world wide. Currently our 501c(3) status is pending, which is an IRS designation that will make donations tax deductible. Producers of Loving More® Magazine and Loving More® Retreats.
Loving More® Magazine — since 1991 we have been the only magazine dedicated exclusively to topics involving Polyamory-multi-partner relating featuring articles from people who are deeply involved in the polyamorous relationship style and focuses on issues such as jealousy, compersion, family, sex and social stigma. Each issue includes polyamory resource listings, book and video reviews, a calendar of events, and advice column
Loving More® Retreats — We have been facilitating polyamorous conferences and retreats since 1986 and are the longest running polyamorous conferences in the world providing educational workshops.
Loving More® Website— We are an online resource for polyamory with information, chat rooms, forums, articles and an online bookstore. We will be adding more in the near future including poly personals, poly friendly professionals, and even online poly education.

In 2006 Loving More began the process of becoming a non-profit corporation and 501c(3). The decision was made in order to better serve both the Polyamory community as well as people who wish to explore an alternative to monogamy in an honest and open way. It is Loving More’s hope to educate people about choice in relationships beyond compulsory monogamy. 2007 marks a shift for Loving More toward educating the media and the public about polyamory through conferences, seminars and retreats as well as maintaining a contact list of polyamorous people willing to speak to the media about polyamory, open relationships and honest non-monogamy.

About Robyn Trask

Position: Managing Director and Editor, Loving More Magazine®
Born: May 2, 1964 in Houston, Texas
Email: robyn@lovemore.com

Robyn Trask resides in Broomfield Colorado with two of her three children, two cats and one dog. Robyn was never monogamous by nature but it is was not until age 24 she came to terms with being polyamorous or non-monogamous. She was in a polyamorous marriage for 15 years. Currently she has three partners; Jesus V Garcia (her primary partner and partner with Loving More as well as a member of the LM Board) and two long distance partners one of whom she has been in a 23 year relationship.

Robyn Trask took the reins of Loving More Magazine® in October 2004. Her experience as a holistic and sacred sexual counselor, and small business owner, made her well suited to increase the public's awareness of polyamory. Polyamory is a viable alternative to current social norms of strict monogamy. She was the president and founder of the Victorian Manor, a wedding chapel and catering business in Katy Texas, from 1988 to 1993. She opened Robyn Trask Photography in 1990 and did portrait and wedding photography professionally until 2002 when she opened New Visions Center for Personal and Spiritual Growth which is now working with Loving More.

Media appearances include the following:

Television
Baisden After Dark; a new late night show featuring Radio Personality Michael Baisden on TV One, Special Guest on December 15, 2007
The Montel Williams Show 2007
Interview with ABC 20/20 - to be aired 2008
Tyra Banks Show 2006
CBN News on The 700 Club 2005

Radio
Repeat Special Guest on Michael Baisden’s Radio Show 2005, 2006, and 2007
Special Guest on WVON 1690 AM's "The Santita Jackson Show", Chicago
Steve Douglas Radio Show 2006
KOA Talk Radio Denver 2006
Culture Shocks with Barry Lynn 2007
The John McMullen Radio Show 2005

News Paper
Salon.com Article/Chicago Sun Times 2007
Boulder Daily Camera 2006
Mountain Xpress 2006
Chicago Sun Time 2006
Baltimore Sun 2005
The Denver Post 2005
Oakland Tribune 2005
Bi-Magazine 2005
The Daily Kansan 2005

Additionally, she was the key note for the 2007 Florida Poly Retreat, a featured speaker at the 2005 and 2006 Poly Living Conference, 2005 Lady Fest Out West, The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality’s 2006 West Conference, guest lecturer at the University of Colorado Boulder and is currently in negotiation to act as a consultant for an upcoming Polyamory Documentary.

In her spare time, Trask enjoys traveling, anthropology, astrology, hiking, riding horses and relaxing with her family.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Having multiple wives....

Sebastian — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 13:26:24 GMT

Hello all, my name is Sebastian. While I'm not new to tribe, I'm new to this group. I'm a female to male transexual.

I don't want to sound or show my ignorance, but can you please bear with me and forgive me? Is it possible to have multiple wives? I'm not from a religious culture where it's permissible, but it's always been a thought in the back of my mind. And however childish this may sound, but I've always wanted to have more than one wife. I believe in equality and I know that I have to support both wives. But I also know that both women have to support themselves. Even though I can biologically produce children, I choose not to, they would have to have our children and yes, I would have to support them, also. I don't have a wife to begin with, but I just wanted to know if it's possible.

Thanks for your patience and tolerance,

Sebastian

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Handfasting as a second marriage

JohnMitchell — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 04:59:36 GMT

I am currently trying to find what others think of having a traditional handfasting performed as a second marriage. My wife suggested this as a solution to wanting to share my life and my family with my girlfriend, giving her the commitment that she and I want between each other. As far as we are concerned, this is just another way of expressing a life long commitment between two people and I would like to see if there are others out there who have taken this approach.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 29 replies

New member- interested in ideas for "commitment ceremony"

brody — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 15:32:03 GMT

Hey, all.

Can't tell if this tribe has been taken over by "cuckholding" people, or if there's still poly/alternative marriage folks in here, so I'll post anyway.

My boyfriend and I are polyamorous, going on 4 years now together. He's married (legal "normal" marriage), everything is above board... he lives with me 1/2 the time, with her 1/2 the time. He and I are exploring options to have some sort of non-legal commitment ceremony, and wondering if anyone has good ideas/experiences/internet resources to share re: this.

We're not getting "handfasted", since we're not pagan/wiccan, and although I am Scottish, it's not really a Scottish custom, if you do the research deep enough. So, commitment ceremony.

Anyone with leads or info re: this? We're looking to design a completely non-religious ceremony, if that helps.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 12 replies

Watching the Cuckold husband

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 15:25:33 GMT

At 24 I was spending too much time and money at a bar in Tampa but I had both so it never crossed my mind to change.
Next to me one evening sat a couple who were enjoying the music and drinks and who nodded and smiled in my direction. I guess it was a very humble beginning but when I met them again the next evening, a conversation ensued and eventually I was invited to their home for snacks and drinks.

They were a very nice looking couple, a bit older than myself and had a beautiful home just outside of town. From that first night I noticed the tender feelings and the love they had for each other but the cute wife seemed quite warm toward me also. In the kitchen while mixing drinks, she very purpously kissed me on the lips and I tingled somewhat at the feel and taste. She whispered, "He's a cuckold you know."

Before the evening was over I knew that I had been seduced for entertainment purposes but I loved every second of it. I was more than invited to make love to this sweet housewife which made it extremely easy for me because of my inhibitions about hitting on someone's wife with him present.

I watched her husband with increased interest as I proceeded to invade his private domain and he seemed to be getting anxious for more action. It was almost as though he was getting the sex himself even though he hadn't touched his wife. The deep kissing seemed to arouse him more and more as well as when I slipped her pants down her long smooth legs.

She kept pulling at my belt buckle also which drew his interest so I removed my pants and made her wait for me to get on with it. He now watched my hands move up and down her thighs and across her nipples and I knew she was ready and anxious for penetration.

One last bit for the husband; he must get a good look at my big tool just before I mounted her. I smiled at him as he gasped when he saw it and I proceeded to slowly shove it all the way. For the next twenty minutes he watched as I humped he again and again. The biggest excitement for him seemed to be her lifting and spreading while she licked and bit me. Her moaning and groaning excited me as well as her husband and caused me to get just a bit rough with her.

And suddenly it was all over for me but while I dressed she was being caressed by the husband who was now holding a robe for her.

I was invited back many times and always looked forward to watching him as we cuckolded him.

As time passed, we treated him to more lively scenes.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 11 replies

What is cuckholding anways??

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 14:46:41 GMT

Call me ignorant, but I have never really understood what cuckholding is in this modern culture - but I hear the word a few times a week.
In classic literature - where I first heard it - it seems to be a negatitive thing. The woman wants to hurt/challenge/fuck with the man so she makes him watch her with someone else by a degree of force.
Is it a world like poly and everyone has their own use and definition?
Educate me alternative people!

posted in Alternative Marriage - 16 replies

Polyamory in the News: Why so much good press lately?

Alan — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 04:26:50 GMT

What IS it about polyamory that's getting us so much good notice right now in
the mainstream media?

If you haven't been reading Polyamory in the News
(http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/) in the last three months, here's some of
what you missed:

** The style magazine of the New York Post discovers the poly scene (one of
them anyway) and pretty much makes us out as the hippest, most where-it's-at
people in New York City.

** "Are open marriages more successful than traditional couplings?" asks ABC
News.com. "That's like asking if monogamy works," replies Deborah Anapol, whom
ABC News tracked down. "Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. It depends
almost entirely on the people involved and their willingness to tell the truth
and do the work."

** A sympathetic religion reporter looks at religion and spirituality among
polys for the Religion News Service. Yes, we do have good church-going
Christians.

** The Shifting Meaning of the Word Polyamory: "When a concept goes mass-market it often gets cheapened and
degraded. Even the most wonderful trend is liable to turn sour on going
downmarket, much to its originators' dismay...."

** Songs of Polyamory, including Penelope Swales, Gaia Consort, and the new one
making the rounds, "My Boyfriend's Girlfriend Isn't Me."

** A trans-queer triad bare their lives to a diet-and-gossip magazine. The
story (at least the writer's unedited version) is a heart-warmer.

** "Dear Margo," a top newspaper advice columnist, got a bit snarky toward
polys, heard from many of us in reply, and as a result, came back with an
apologetic and wonderfully good piece educating middle America. Your great-aunt
in Oshkosh may be thinking a little better of you after reading it.

** Leaders of Loving More say their stuff for an hour on Rev. Barry Lynn's talk
show. (Listen to the mp3.)

** A parenting magazine offers a sweet account of a tightly knit triad raising
their young daughter: "And Baby Makes Four".

** All of which prompted a major essay analyzing the "strange credibility of
polyamory" across a surprising swath of mainstream culture. Exactly why are we
doing so well right now, and when does the backlash happen?

Plus: poly in South Africa and Germany; veto power as the nuclear option; poly
rules that couples use (or not); more on open marriage, including a new book in
the works and a poly couple daring to appear on Oprah Winfrey....

------------------

Here's the site: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/. The 10 most recent items
are up front. Look in the recent monthly archives for more. The archives are
also sorted by subject and, in some cases, location. I've done 169 of these
reports in the last two years; have fun browsing.

Cheers,

Alan

P.S.: If you’re on LiveJournal, you can friend an LJ feed for the site:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

husband present? Not present?

jim — Mon, 19 Dec 2005 15:48:53 GMT

When my wife is with a sex partner I am rarely if ever present..She "dates" on her own...She chooses her partners and they must ask her not me if they can bed her....I am wondering how many men are not present and how many women see sex partners without the husband being present...I have watched but she has told me this tends to inhibit her and since it is for her pleasure and really not mine neither of us want her to be inhibited. Would be interested in hearing from others on this subject..

posted in Alternative Marriage - 66 replies

Getting Married next year......

wildsagexo — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 05:31:26 GMT

My bf and I are getting married next year, and we're both pretty excited about it. We are also in an open relationship. I do not want that to change, but I'm feeling a little awkward about dating and planning a wedding at the same time.......does anyone have any ideas about how I can deal with this?

posted in Alternative Marriage - 7 replies

What about "line marriage"?

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 19:42:52 GMT

(Forgive me if this has been discussed here before):

This is an arrangement Heinein talks about, particularly in "The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress" and in "Friday." It seems to be an arrangement where you have a principle couple, who adds another person, and a little later adds another, and then another, until they pass away. Then the oldest male and oldest female become the primaries, and the addition continues along over time, amassing both new lovers but also children, and wealth. In Heinlein's universe, some of these marriages are 100s of years old, and have amassed enormous amounts of wealth over time, with the ability to send their children through college and take care of any member's needs from cradle to grave.

Seems like an ideal lifestyle to me. Any thoughts? Does anyone know of any such groups in the real world?

posted in Alternative Marriage - 4 replies

Call for unity against TV sensationalism!!

Chewey — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 19:39:55 GMT

I know I haven't posted in here for a very long time, but new developments have happened and I felt I should share this. This is shared with permission from Loving More. Feel free to forward this message along to all you can think of.

Message: ----

Loving More® is currently talking with Pilgrim Films about a polyamory reality show. Personally, I am not fond of reality shows but they are big right now and, like it or not, there will be reality shows on the subject. As a community we have the ability to influence how we are represented. By working together we can have an effect. Loving More is currently working with a few people within the poly community willing to do media appearances but we need more diversity.

This show is important. As of now they are looking for people who represent the majority of society; a family, raising kids in suburbia or some type of middle class poly folk. I know that many of us do not exactly fall in this category and some even resent that they are looking for that, but I am asking all of us to look at this as an opportunity to educate people in a real way. Poly people come in all shapes, orientations and classes of weirdness but if we want the public to take this movement seriously and make progress toward changing attitudes, then we need to help the average person open their mind. This is important for all of us who may have jobs, kids, family or other matters that can be affected by our choice of polyamory as a lifestyle. There are many poly people out there living in suburbia raising kids but few who feel safe to be out. Those who are willing to come out and talk to media are often not representative of the community as a whole but one small segment that many people can not relate to.

I get asked many repeating questions by the media that imply certain assumptions. One of the most common is the perception that poly people are long haired, granola eating hippies still living out their experience of the 60’s, or that we are sex addicted deviants. Is this the perception of polyamory you want portrayed? Does it really matter? Only when we show people another version will we change these preconceived ideas.

All of you can help in several ways:

1. By coming to Loving More when you are asked or considering a media appearance.
a. Let us help you by negotiating on your behalf. We are getting good at working with the media so that you are treated well, compensated for your time, and not ambushed. We can help you prepare for interviews or TV appearances.

2. By letting us know that you are willing to speak to the media and what kinds of media you are willing to do.
a. For this we need pictures and bios.

3. Is to let us know when you here of a documentary, talk show, or other media looking for poly people.
a. Chances are we have already heard from and talked to them but let us know anyway so we can help.

We are not here to tell you how you should do an interview or TV appearance but to simply help put your best foot forward. Talk shows, reality TV and similar shows are entertainment media out there to make money. They are not journalists and I feel sometimes it is easy to confuse the two. We also work with the journalistic media but it is a different media and in my experience they have been fair and easy to work with. TV entertainment shows thrive on sensationalism and they have their own agenda. What we want is to take advantage of the opportunity, influence the content, and minimize the exploitation.

We are a diverse community looking to change the possibilities in personal relationships, from our granola eating vegetarians to our sex crazed republicans. Working as a community we can have a real impact. If we are united they will have to at least meet us partway to get people for their needs. Change can happen and my wish is that polyamory becomes just another option in personal loving relationships.

Let us know if you or someone you know would be a good fit for this show and willing to do it. Also, if you are not up for this show but would be interested in something else, then share that with us. Email us with media in the subject line lovingmore@lovemore.com or call 303-543-7540.

Thanks for all your support and help

Robyn Trask
Loving More®
www.lovemore.com

posted in Alternative Marriage - 1 reply

Seeking Loving Wife for Sexy Tantra Joyfull Poly Fidelity Family in USA (35810) ---> Lets Connect Today!

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 10:42:35 GMT

Greetings New Friends/Family!

We are a joyfull sexy Tantra Poly Fidelity Family here in
Huntsville Alabama 35810

We are seeking a new Wife(s) to share our love and life
in this poly fidelity family of living spirit!

Must be Fit, Healthy, d/d free, Positive-No Drama
and Love Love Love Tantra-Conscious Living!

If you are longing for a truely conscious family full of love fun and joy
that is long term, write us an email and let us know what you interest are.

All Super Mothers with Children are welcome, (we have children also!)
Lets build a lasting Friendship and create a wonderful conscious family together!
Light and Love!
Larry and Alberta

PS
if you would like to connect with us directly today,
please send us an email with your interests and some
pictures of you to atkinsonlarry@yahoo.com

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Polyamory in the News

Alan — Mon, 07 May 2007 00:39:49 GMT

A burst of poly newspaper and TV reports arouses Great Britain.... Researcher finds polys have more testosterone (both sexes).... Pitching polyamory in Mississippi as a choice of breakfast cereals.... A Jewish spin, with R. Crumb.... Advice columnists who get it....

Lot of stuff has been happening in the last three months at Polyamory in the News: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ . If you haven't been checking, here's what you missed:

** CNN: "Special Report on Polyamory". And you can watch the video.

** From the city magazine of Edmonton, Alberta: " 'A poly relationship is a lot like gardening,' Patrick meditates. 'You spend so much time on your hands and knees mucking around in the dirty chores. . . you almost forget to straighten up, take a look around you, and see the beautiful things you’re helping to grow.' " With a how-to guide to starting out.

** "The Soccer Moms of Sexuality", in which the New York Sun gets cute.

** "A Love Triangle? Try a Hexagon", St. Petersburg Times. Major newspaper does big, knockout article, based on some of our community's smartest and best-known folks.

** Polys have the highest testosterone levels, monos the lowest, in a sample of people sorted by relationship status. With links to the research papers.

** "I got you, you, you, you and you, babe", Times of London. Another big, generally good article in a major paper.

** "Polyamory: A build-your-own-love kit". The Southern Mississippi University student newspaper dives into controversial waters. "Well Ed, polyamory says you don't have to buy just one cereal for the rest of your life... now, Fruit Loops and Apple Jacks can live in harmony in the same kitchen secure in the knowledge of your love."

** "Shocking Sex Poll Results" ...depending on how easily you're shocked.

** "The Loves That Dare Not Speak Their Names: The World of Polyamorous Jews", Heeb magazine. With guest appearance by honorary Jew, R. Crumb (whose French co-husband calls himself "a Situationist... an adventurer of the present").

** "In Secret, Polygamy Follows Africans to N.Y.", New York Times. Traditional and Islamic polygamous awfulness.

** Liberal Mormon polygamy? Not all Utah "pligs" are exploitive cultists, some of the wives assert at various public events.

** Advice column roundup -- with six traits of people who make poly work.

** "Hidden Lives: Three in a Bed". British TV presents a one-hour documentary on living-together triads. With a link to the video (BitTorrent).

** "Root for the Home Team". More wisdom from Seattle kink columnist Mistress Matisse.

** "Sex Diaries of New Yorkers" in New York Magazine online, where polyamory pops up in word and deed.

** "She was just one of the people who shone." The trial of Angelika Kluk's killer transfixes Scotland — including the sidelight about her polyamorous relationship with the husband in a respectable local couple, and the couple's public explanations of what poly meant to them.

Here's the site: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ . The 10 most recent items are up front.
The April archive: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2007_04_01_polyinthemedia_archive.html
The March archive: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_polyinthemedia_archive.html
The February archive: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2007_02_01_polyinthemedia_archive.html

If you're a member of LiveJournal, here's an LJ feed:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

I've done 120 of these reports in the last year and a half. Have fun browsing!

Cheers,

Alan

(...who's always looking for news leads. If you see something good that I miss, please write me: alan7388 [at] comcast [dot] net.)

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

hello all

mike — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 12:30:34 GMT

hello mike here joined tribe i am one half of a poly couple looking for a bi lady for a triad just thought i would say hi

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Real or Fantasy...

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 05:07:40 GMT

This is a 500 point purity test....

http://www.armory.com/tests/500.html

I took it with two different views what I have physically done/viewed /experienced and then again with the fantasy aspect added in. It changed by percentile by 12 percent....

Was wondering if any of you did the same what the difference in the scores would be? Try it that way and post it!!!!

Mix'n

posted in Alternative Marriage - 10 replies

Living in this lifestyle....

Steve — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 21:12:46 GMT

......is bliss. I'm 28 years old, good looking; girls like me, i get a lot of flirts. I'm cute and sweet, young enough and all... I could live differently, I could skip cuckolding forever, I could say "don't do this to me", "i can't live with it", i could say "be monogomous to me".

Okay obviuosly i just got bit bad by the cuckolding bug and let my mind go swimming in it alas! its been so long since i had the honor of keeping such a happily pleased woman in the house, tending her nest, waiting on her every word, mind empty to anything except every single word that came out of her mouth, alas. But I feel at home here, even though this is my first post, because I've read all of these; for once I'm thrilled there's some kind of clientel control; on the internet there's too much junk, useless stuff; i've looked for a good forum for a long time and every time i'd read a new one, it was the same: the same made up stories, the same guys pretending to be girls, pretending to "confess", and it was always the same words. But even though I'm permanantly turned off from reading posts by (wannabe) cuckold men who just rehash some story they read, - even despite that i feel at home among the "fellas" here, if that's what we are. You are the real guys too, you've been through just exactly what I've been through, you really have something to say. I wonder what there is to say for us, we odd little cuckolds, men with little dicks whose wives sleep with younger, hotter men, men who can really fuck and make us see our limitations there in front of us.

What can we say indeed? What are we, we are something indeed, no other guys like us, but what are we famous for... being lousy in bed ha ha, but we're "strong in ourselves" even if we can't all fuck. Mmm. Where am I now... BITTEN by the bug. Ahhh, cuckolding.

My wife is forty-three now, I'm twenty eight. Was 24 when she first got me that night, we're a Domme and sub. I was a cuck before i even knew it, but she told me about that afterwards... right away, it was. The first guy I saw though was Nick. Boy its funny how friendly Bulls can be, i think. He couldn't have been nicer; i wonder if that makes it any consolation, ha ha. She surprised me, I thought there may have been some sense of guilt on her part, or remorse, or "i wonder if i should do this to my husband?" I thought she might be more "reserved" about it, i was thinking "it might not be that different with Him"... She might not LIKE it that much, maybe it'll be easy on me, maybe I won't have to accept anything, maybe... I was telling myself he'd be smaller in person than the pic. But Nick was over nine inches long, his cock was more than twice as wide as mine;

posted in Alternative Marriage - 1 reply

NOTHING is more beautiful.

Steve — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 19:02:02 GMT

NOTHING is more wonderful, more excellent, exciting: nothing beats cuckolding for a GOOD WAY OF LIFE, nothing beats a happy wife, and nothing beats chastity, a chaste husband, married to a girl who won't have him in her bed, sometimes she won't even kiss him, sometimes she doesn't want him to embarrass her IN FRONT of her BOYFRIEND. Many times she tells her girlfriends and their jaws drop and everyone smiles, this is the best! You girls are excellent! Thank you for sharing your presence with us, we lowly cuckolds, be we married to you or mere strangers reading your daring, brave, exciting confessions, THANK YOU! Your words, your thoughts, your sexuality, your very essence, your WOMANHOOD, is what makes us cucks who we are! We are Your amusements, your little jests, - we are your sweet arms waiting for your happy return from Your extremely awesome TRIUMPH over some gorgeous, well-built lover, and we thank You all for it. I'll say it right now, without YOU we are nothing, like stray kites in the wind... you make us who and what we are; we wake up thinking about you, sleep thinking about you, dream thinking about you; some of us (me for instance, most certainly) wouldn't often be allowed to have sex with You (i.e., the girl), but we want you so bad, so so bad, honey, and much more than we could ever want any other woman on the face of the planet. Darling You, the woman, in my past and my future, make my life what it is. I could be looking very good to any supermodel woman on the planet, any actress, any woman, - she could be just like society says she has to be, she could be just like the guys, those asshole, regular men, who we all have to put up with, - just like they make Women in the beer commercials. Honey, I could be right in front of a six foot tall girl, she could be naked, her thighs could be luscious, she could be twenty-one or forty and the most physically desirable woman every conceived by god; her breast could be large or small or just the way i like them; her ass could be round or thin, it could be small or big, whatever i like best. She could be a virgin who would never know the difference, wouldn't KNOW how small i am, wouldn't KNOW how it feels with a real man in bed, - such a woman could be there, blonde or brunette, thin or voluptuous, honey, my darling, my past and future Cuckoldress, - but if there was and I was there and she begged me to have sex with her, still honey i could never want her one single percent as much as i want you, always every day, - there could be three of her and it could never captivate me the way that seeing you with another man captivates my soul.

Thank you to all the groundbreakingly exceptional women on this website I've been looking around for a place that I could discusss the livestyle with seriousness for a very long time, and I just want to say god bless you all, thank heaven for you and all women like you, and i hope every single one of you are having the very time of your lives.

As an introduction I'm a cuckold but i'm separated, i couldn't handle how far it went although any cuck on the board would call it a dream come true and it was, and yes i know how stupid that makes me. i got everything i wished for, she really didn't see me as a man anymore (if ever) and she really preferred other men to me, got so inside my head with the cucking that i couldn't even last 5 seconds inside her without wanting to cum. What are my favorite things about it? Oh, i'd say the humiliation, when your wife is making love to a man who's cock's almost or in my case literally twice my size; i've come to accept it, i'm not gay, but i'm not manly, i love women but not like other men do. i guess its one of the best feelings a guy could ever have, the humiliation of trying to have sex with his wife and upon entering, realizing that he's not in his own wife's league, that to make her feel anything at all he'd have to be very much larger than he is. but of course that's impossible! Nothing's more beautiful than the cuckold lifestyle. Cucks, once it happens you CANT top the other guy, he's got the balls, he's got the dick and it makes you into a.. well everybody's got their own take. for me, i was very happy to begin to identify myself as a true, d**kless pussy; these other guys were making me obsolete, my WIFE made me obsolete, and it was excellent.

That look a woman has, when she comes home and her red hair is tousselled all over, messed up; her makeup is faded and all her lipstick's worn off except for around the edges. And she has this look on her face, this indescribable look, when her eyes fall on you and she's laughing without laughing, looking at you like a... what? i bet some girls know exactly what word to use here; if i were to try i'd say "looking at you like a poor, hapless loser, with no hope and no balls, no dick and no manhood". She always looked at me like that, like i was her big joke that just kept getting funnier every day. it rocked! why did it rock so much! i wish i knew, i wish i understood why its so excellent to be totally and forever cucked to the bottom of my soul so that every day eveery single day i wake up thinking about it still, two years after i ran away like a big, stupid pussy; i thought i was going away to save my pride, ha what a laugh; i've lost more of that ever since; that is the best part of what this does to me: it never stops happening. I never stop becoming more a "wussy" cuck, more a dickless, unmanned whimp, ever, - i - never - stop; its excellent, there are no words to describe the bond yes the BOND this lifestyle creates between a husband and his wife.

Always i read things that the wives say that i love and much agree with: many (by no means all) of them come to a point after a certain many years where they love their husbands even more but cease to have romantic feelings for them; but the husband's not a "friend", not even a "best friend", - and hes not a lover, she's not in LOVE with him... he's a cuckold, a loving, living cuckold, married and giving every single piece of himself to his wife, devoting his entire LIFE to making HER happy in this lifestyle, - WHICH she is, very very much so; the men she has are usually sexy, strong, attractive, nice, very thrilling men to be with; guys who make Her legs weak with anticipation: men she'd step over her husband's very face to be with, to jump into the bed and kiss Him, the other man, her lover with the big cock YES YES YES ladies like big cocks, and some of you girls? You LOVE 'em: big, giant, sexy, veiny, luscious, gorgeous, glistening, and so so very HARD... your husband (meaning ME particularly, there's a lot, lot lot of cuckold men who are many times my match in bed) okay: I. I can't get that hard, - my little "guy" down there, he doesn't stand nine inches tall like my wife's football player boyfriend's does, - my "little fellah" is shorter than such a man's cock when mine is hard and His is soft, - when He gets out of a cold shower his unerect penis is still wider and taller than mine and even soft it would do more for a woman. THIS guy, Men like THIS, are going to fuck my Wife? You bet, you bet my friend. That's exactly what he does,

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Alt Households?

petitefaye — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 06:19:28 GMT

This is something I'm having to think about a lot lately. In a few months I'm going to be moving in with my guy and his family.
So I thought it would be a good idea to start a thread for Alternative Households. With a poly V, multipartners living together, multiple families in a poly lifestyle, with kids, or without.

What are the major complications? How does one try to keep the transition of a new member entering not just the family now, but also the house, a smooth experience?

Basically let's just share tips, advice, oopses, and thoughts on this subject.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 6 replies

No SERIOUSLY

petitefaye — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 02:22:59 GMT

How many on this tribe are in, or have been in an alternative marriage that is NOT cuckold????

Is it open?
Do you share the new partner?
Or do you date seperately?
Do you ever have problems with jealously?
Where do you find communication the hardest?
Is there any multifamily houses?
How long were you together before you decided to open your relationship?

There are so many other topics that can be discussed, and that need to be revisited with the new information you have obtained!

posted in Alternative Marriage - 25 replies

Three things that help any marriage

CaptainErotica — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 01:46:28 GMT

Any tips to share?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1~ Keep updating your ability to see your partner in a fresh way

2~ Realize that even in marriage there are always different perspectives on things- very rarely is there only one right way

3~ Play some secret silly game with your partner...make up something totally new...

posted in Alternative Marriage - 13 replies

Heads up!!! valentines day radio on NPR "fresh air"

robert — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 15:44:40 GMT

i am previewing a show that will air today on NPR Fresh Aire. and there is an interview with comic artist Robert Crumb and his wife who talk about their Polyamorous marriage ... good to hear. hope you get to hear... fun show...

posted in Alternative Marriage - 1 reply

Question....

Vixxen — Sat, 27 Jan 2007 15:27:47 GMT

Okay so here's the scenario...

About six years ago, my husband asked me to consider changing
our mono relationship to an open relationship because he wanted
to be physical with women other than me. He felt that would add
some excitement to what was a somewhat bland sex life. I did some
research, and with some reluctance, established some boundaries
with him, and we began to look for another couple. What we did then
was more like swinging, even though we got to know the couple, there
wasn't a real emotional attachment....for the most part. It ended up
being a mostly positive experience for me, although after a while, the
whole "dating" process to find the right couple got tiring. What we
wanted to find was one couple, where we would only see them, and
they would only see us for a while. But the one couple we connected
with that deeply, the guy got sent away in the military. So anyhow,
we gave up on it for a number of years.

Last year we decided to try again, but the one couple we met with,
the man and I connected BIG time, and there was no interest from
the wife. Before we started looking again we had talked about opening
things up a bit more by NOT having this "same room, same time"
criteria this time. This man wanted to have an open, poly relationship
with me and my husband said, "Go for it..." My relationship with this
man ended in about three months (I ended it) but later I found out
that my husband felt cuckolded. While I was seeing this man, I asked
him all the time if he was okay with things, and he'd say he was fine.
Now I can see that he really isn't okay with me seeing men totally
without him present. I think if he were there, part of the scenario,
that he'd be okay, but I'm not completely sure. I'm also not sure if
it's jealousy, or envy that's going on with him. Any insight you can
give me would be appreciated. I don't want to do anything to harm
my marriage, and I'm considering where to go from here...

vixxen

posted in Alternative Marriage - 15 replies

Polyamory in the News!

Alan — Sun, 04 Feb 2007 23:11:14 GMT

A movie being made of The Ethical Slut... Polyamory in The God Delusion... After 15 years, the word becomes official... Polys as the world's jealousy experts....

Lots of stuff has been happening at Polyamory in the News, http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ , in the last two months. If you haven't been checking, here's what you missed:

** “How Prevalent is Polyamory?” We are everywhere. . . or are we? Here's a collection of stats and surveys, and thoughts on what they mean.

** The controversial British poly documentary “I Love You. And You. And You” has been rebroadcast — and at last you can see it on the web.

** “Three on a match can be dangerous” (Chicago Sun-Times). Couples therapist Laura Berman goes on a tear against more-than-twoness, and members of the poly community rally in reply.

** “Unfaithful? No, I just have too much love for one man” (Daily Mail, London). One of Great Britain’s “dreadful rags” is shocked, shocked!

** “Monogamy, Polyamory, and Beyond” (Tikkun magazine). A leading progressive religious/political journal examines the possibilities that compersion — “sympathetic joy” in multipartnering — offers for spiritual advancement (dare we say evolution?).

** “All Mine” (Herald-Sun, Australia). Are polys becoming the media’s go-to experts on understanding jealousy?

** “Make Love; End Monogamy War” (Sydney Morning Herald, Australia). “Monogamy is the capitalism of the social world. It isn’t perfect and it’s mighty expensive, but no one’s actually come up with a viable alternative for the masses.”

** German Green Endorses Poly; Brouhaha Ensues. The “Pippi Longstocking of German politics” raises eyebrows, and wins fans, across Europe.

** “Polyamory” enters the Oxford English Dictionary, finally making it as officially an English word as possible. Jennifer Wesp, co-inventor of the word in the early 1990s, writes in to describe exactly where, when, and how she created it.

** “What is commitment? Polyamorous perspectives on love, sex and relationships” (American Sexuality). Cascade Cook assembles a variety of polys’ takes on what commitment means to them and their partners. A good handout.

** Polyamory cited in The God Delusion. Atheist author Richard Dawkins give us a good mention in his current blockbuster book.

** The Ethical Slut: the movie! Filming begins this summer. A self-declared "Taoist" indie film company says it intends to give it a good, serious treatment.

** Developments at Loving More: The magazine should soon be back on its feet. Meanwhile, Loving More and polyamory become a running plot element on NBC's Monday-night series “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.”

** Swing/Poly Advocates Arouse Debate in China. And you thought Podunk, USA was messed up. . .

** "Not Too Emo" (The Stranger, Seattle). "There is a key trait in people who do polyamory well, and it's this: They are good at regulating their strong emotions."

Here's the site:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ . The most recent 10 items are up front.
Here are the December archives: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2006_12_01_polyinthemedia_archive.html
and November archives: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2006_11_01_polyinthemedia_archive.html

I've done 101 of these reports in the last year and a half. I hope you'll have as much fun browsing them as I did putting them together!

Cheers,

Alan

(...who's always looking for news leads. If you see something good that I miss, please write me: alan7388 [at] comcast [dot] net.)

posted in Alternative Marriage - 1 reply

I knew my answer, but . . .

Tina — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 22:12:16 GMT

We have a couple who have been friends of ours for some time now, like 6 years. They were a poly couple. She often dated and he didn't , or at least not often. They have not had sex with each other for almost ten yrs. They are living apart and divorcing. This weekend they came over and asked us our opinion. They are divorcing, yet since niether of them has had a lot of luck in the dating arena, especially him, they decided that even though they are divorcing maybe they could be swinging partners considering how much easier it is to hook up with people when you are a couple.

I feel it is not a bad thing. I thought it was great that they had sex before they came to our house. Niether of them has had sex in over a year, and not with each other in almost ten years. I personally think it may be a great thing for them to become swinging partners. If nothing else they will both get some, and maybe even more from each other.

My husband felt the same way. I want to know what your opinions are.

Thanks.

Tina

posted in Alternative Marriage - 1 reply

NYC's Best Erotic Party Evah!

SheilaMonster — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 01:36:30 GMT

Feb. 3 marks the first Chemistry party of 2007 and it will be absolutely remarkable - spacious, bohemian loft with lush play spaces; slamming DJ that will spin sexy, soulful sets; the hottest, most cultured hipsters and an endless line up of sultry talent: hoopers, fire spinners, burlesque, even a sneak preview of a NYC-artist-produced blue movie! For the past year, Chemistry has been WITHOUT A DOUBT the sexiest underground party the city has ever seen!

Check us out at chemistry-nyc dot com. (Sorry Charlie, no single men allowed; this one's for couples and women only.)

To get on the list of this unparalleled event, drop us a line at thelist@chemistry-nyc.com and answer the following questions thoughtfully:

--Please let us know your first name(s).

--What decade(s) were you born in?

--(Couples) Are you dating, married or friends with fringe benefits?

--Have you been to a party like Chemistry before? If so, what did you like about it? What didn't you like?

--In 100 words or less, please describe your perfect night at Chemistry.

--Please send a g-rated photo (couples, a photo together please).

Don't be on the outside looking in - be on the inside hitting it off!

xo – SheilaMonster

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Equal Standing????

petitefaye — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 17:56:14 GMT

So I was reading through the lastest thread about secondaries in an open relationship, and I have to admit I was a little hurt by it. More indirectly than anything else. From what I gathered it sounded like it was believed that secondaries should not be considered equal with the wife.
Why is that?
I have been the secondary in two relationships. One went extremely bad and I was constantly reminded that I was lower than both of them. That I had no say in the relationship because I was "brought in", I wasn't the wife, etc. I wasn't even really considered a girlfriend.
Now in my new relationship my boyfriend keeps us on equal terms. He never tells me I am lower than her, and she and I get along fine. I would like to say it makes us better friends, and the potential to be closer friends.
You have no idea the bitterness and pain it can create to be given a place.
Secondaries are still people, whether or not they are an "addition" to a relationship. Respect among all partners can still be there even with equal standing.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 15 replies

need help with sharing my husband

holly — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 19:10:57 GMT

Okay,
We've been together 7 years and have always discussed him having sex with other people. I told him I was okay with that as long as I always knew about it and always remained "number one" on his list. He comes home the other night and tells me he perfomed some sexual acts on a girl he finally approached (has seen around a few times before), but they haven't had sex yet. He's inviting her to our home in a few nights and I feel like I'm emotionally freakin out. I did some studying on here and read many other postings and the main ideas I keep reading are that communication and trust are very necessary in order for this to be successful. I also read that we need to set rules/boundaries so that we are all comfortable. The problem is, He doesn't want to set rules/boundaries; instead says that he wants us to just "see what happens" and claims I'm being a hyprocrit by giving him a hard time about this when I've always said it was okay before.

I realize my mistake. I didn't have any idea what agreeing to this would mean. So now that we are in the heart of something happening, I'm feeling anxious and scared and worried that I'm making the wrong choice. I'm feeling completely torn up inside, don't know what to do and would really appreciate any help I can get on this.

Thanks.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 23 replies

Taming a Cuckold

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 06:07:50 GMT

I was cuckolded without my knowledge but a cute and cunning wife turned me into a submissive pussycat. Her "guests" have found that they have nothing to fear from me as she makes me jealous while engaging in foreplay. Everyone smiles when she mentions that my face is red with jealousy and humiliation.
Barbara has me figured out and she knows that I get immensely aroused and will willingly make love when her friend leaves and she is sweaty and wet.
She always assures me that I can have "seconds".

posted in Alternative Marriage - 15 replies

Introducing ourselves

Mira — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 12:46:02 GMT

Thanks for creating this tribe.

We are a couple, living in Germany, married since 8 years.
Five years ago we recognized our wishes after a process to live in an alternative form, known as cuckold.

In Reality it feels fantastic and we both love our part.

We are going to read the postings and hoping, our English is good enough expressing ourselves well.
Kisses

posted in Alternative Marriage - 5 replies

Poly Living Conference deadline Dec 31

Alan — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 03:25:16 GMT

Folks,

If the Poly Living Conference in Philadelphia is to happen this year (Feb. 2-4, 2007), they need you to register NOW rather than later, because the hotel requires a major nonrefundable deposit January 1st. On that date George Marvil's family has to make the Go/ No Go decision.

Hope to see you there!

Alan

------- Earlier post for background info: --------

As some of you may know, George Marvil, the founder of the Poly Living conference in Philadelphia and various pagan get-togethers, died of cancer recently after being ill for more than a year. His wife Cat intends to carry on Poly Living as his memorial, but she is asking all who are considering going to please register by December 31st at the very latest, which is the hotel's deposit deadline. They need 100 registrants by then.

The cost is very reasonable ($155 per person after discount; enter "bsmg" in the discount code box). The hotel in downtown Philly is very nice, and the rooms are reasonable ($109 per night; up to 4 people allowed in a room).

For more info and to register: polyliving.com/ .

I went last February and had a wonderful time!! I'm going again this year. If you want to know more of what it's like, I wrote up a report on my experiences:
www.polyamoryonline.org/articl...06.html .

--Alan

-----------------------------------
Keep up with Polyamory in the News!
polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/
-----------------------------------

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Cuckolding as open relationship

Nancy — Wed, 24 Nov 2004 18:37:54 GMT

After some years of looking and considering what form of open relationship suited me, I came across the unlikely phenomenon of cuckolding. Th dictionary defines a cuckold simply as a man whose wife sleeps, or has slept, with other men. From what I've learned by visiting various websites and Internet groups, there seems to be a cuckold lifestyle, akin to swinging, that exists in varying degrees of fantasy and reality. The general parameters are that the wife/women is sexually free and the husband/male is monogamous and, sometimes, even celibate. After wading through a seemingly endless amount of nonsense and testosterone-addled fantasy, I've discovered that there are couples who actually practice this lifestyle. This convinced me to delve into it myself after divorcing a husband who introduced me into the swinging scene only to use me as a bargaining chip for getting laid. When I found someone with whom I wanted to begin a relationship, I introduced the cuckold lifestyle concept and was pleased to find that he was able to understand and get interested in the dynamics of it. After a few months of talking, we experimented and became active. It's been well over a year and we are doing very well with this.

Has anyone else here had experience with cuckolding?

posted in Alternative Marriage - 86 replies

Introducing our polygamous family

Martin — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 19:03:50 GMT

Hello to y'all from Karen, Lisa, and myself (Martin). We've been a happy polygamous family for three years now and live together in a house we built ourselves in a large intentional community you've probably never heard of. Our house has four bedrooms, four bathrooms, and two kitchens, one for each wife. Some of our children still live with us.

We're high-profile for polygamists, and have been offered interviews on Inside Edition and the Tyra Banks show, to name a few, but have turned them down so far. We're still coming out of the closet and testing the legal waters, I guess.

We maintain an active blog at http://polygamynow.blogspot.com where you can find tons of photos. We try to split the blog between our personal lives as polygamists, and the unfolding story of polygamy in the United States.

We're not affiliated with a religion, which makes us somewhat of a maverick in polygamy circles. Our blog includes some tasteful nude photos on occasion (not necessarily of us), which keeps us at a calculated distance from Mormon Fundamentalists.

We're looking forward to chatting with y'all here at Alternative Marriage.

Martin (mailto:polygamy@intentionalfamily.org)

posted in Alternative Marriage - 3 replies

Resources as we learn?

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 14:22:50 GMT

Hi all....a few nights ago The Woman I Serve (wife) and I decided to open our marriage to new dynamics. The main one being a power exchange where I submit to Her will and desires. We are both very excited about this new way of being partners but we have little practical knowledge of being in this type of relationship.

I was wondering if anyone could recommend a web site where we can learn tips, techniques, etc? Many thanks in advance and thanks god for this type of tribes!

jb

posted in Alternative Marriage - 3 replies

Random survey

wereGirl — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 05:38:18 GMT

i've been browsing around on polymatchemaker.com, and i noticed that many of the couples "advertising" for additional partners seem to specifically looking for a second woman. and many of those couples mention that they have 1 or more children.

so my question is, how many of you have become involved with a couple only to find yourself used as a live in babysitter & alternate sex partner rather than an important & loved part of the family?

whats the ratio of positive to negative experiences?

posted in Alternative Marriage - 3 replies

about secondary's

wereGirl — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 13:57:40 GMT

hey guys, i'm extra new here but i need advise/insight.

i've been married to my husband for 6 years. he has had a secondary relationship for the last year. it honestly wouldn't bother me if it was a friendship/sexual relationship, but he has strong feelings for her as well.

and i know her, tried to be friends with her (before i was aware of her relationship with my husband) and i just hate her. can't stand anything about her. my husband and i have been over this repeatedly. he's very sad that i don't like her & don't want her to be part of our lives.

how much is too much? how do i respect his feelings when it doesn't seeem that mine are being respected? is it wrong for me to think that if we don't both feel the same way about a person that the relationship should end? (i like to think that i would avoid relationships with lovers that my husband doesn't like)

i'm having difficulty expressing all of this, but i've been reading all your previous posts & i really admire so much of what you've all said. so, let me have it.....have you had to deal with this before? how did it get resolved.

thanks

posted in Alternative Marriage - 31 replies

loving threesome

cam — Mon, 02 Oct 2006 02:29:38 GMT

hey, i am new here but stumbled across this forum while looking for info or ideas about living/loving succesfully in a three way relationship. My wife and i have been together for 10 years now, she has always had the freedom (and the courage) to seek out sexuall relationships outside our marriage. I guess i have had the the same freedom but except for one rather painfull experiment have not done so. Recently she fell in love with a new lover. We talked about this quite a bit and i felt ok about it, our relationship felt solid and our love was passionate and strong. we decided to invite this new woman into our lives and our home. this was less than two months ago although it sometimes feels much longer, time has felt very odd lately. I really care about this new woman( maybe i"ll call her M and my wife J), i think i love her in fact. Both J and M are also deeply in love with eachother and J still loves me. So far so great. I am finding it harder than i anticipated to share J's love. I have not had a lot of support from those around me, most people seem to think we are crazy, and are risking our whole family(we have two kids,4 &8). We have tried to be as open about our feelings as possible, something thatv has not always come easily or naturally to me. I know that J loves me but sometimes i feel frightened that "I can't compete" even though I know it's not a competition. I would love to hear of other loving three ways because i really want this one to work. I have been amazed to find myself here, and i have gone from severe anxiety of "I'm going to lose my wife" to intense happiness of"holy fuck, I am living loving with two amazing beautifull women!". It has been confusing and intense and i am glad we are doing it but i would love a role model or two!

peace
cam

posted in Alternative Marriage - 7 replies

milking

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 19:24:13 GMT

Every cuckold, must obvioulsy be allowed to cum periodically. It is my understanding that truely dominant mistresses will "milk" their cuckold with a prostate toy periodically. In other words the only time he can cum at all is by prostate play, not being allowed to touch his penis. Of course the slave would be expected to lick all of his cum up as the mistress feeds it to him, once he has been milked.

Has anyone been in this type of relationship?

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

a romantic hotel for my wife and her boyfriend?

watch_wife — Tue, 29 Aug 2006 03:09:35 GMT

Does anyone know a nice romantic hotel in Northern CA for my wife and her boyfriend?
They never spent a whole night together (they make love always during the day/evening) and I want so to make it is a gift for them - a romantic night (or even two) together!
They are very close to falling in love with each other - it would be simply wonderful if it happens that very night!

Any serious hint is very much appreciated!

posted in Alternative Marriage - 6 replies

ULTA - PULTA ( read n comment )

raju — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 10:43:58 GMT

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was
>rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a
>rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr
>the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the
>frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
>
>The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a
>pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter
>by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas
>tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs rpsoet
it.
>
>ONLY REPOST IF YOU CAN READ THIS
please send your comment in my blog entry in my profile
add up your name in this blog if you can
...... oh and you have to be honest !

posted in Alternative Marriage - 8 replies

New Here

JD — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 05:06:25 GMT

Hey everyone...new here...and I have to say I have really enjoyed reading through the threads. Alternative marriages is something that I've wondered about and am now considering different aspects for myself.

Technically I've been married for almost 13 years. We seperated almost 3 years ago because he had 'found' someone else. However, throughout the past three years we've actually improved our relationship, sex and otherwise, and have grown personally and as a 'couple'.

About 4 or 5 years ago he brought up bringing a woman into our relationship, the sexual part of it. I flipped out...it wasn't presented right and dammit, he didn't deserve that type of thing in my eyes!

But when he left me and I really started examining everything about how I felt and such, it wasn't the fact that he was having sex with someone else, it was the emotional attachment I had a problem with.

We've recently started talking about inviting a woman to be with us again. I've never had the experience, but he has. I actually set up a board on here called bi-n-curious...hoping to get some insight, ask questions, etc. And while looking found this tribe.

I've got a lot of questions, but I'll ease into it. Alot of it is my own self-exploration also. I've had to realize that I need to have a marriage that is right for ME, no matter who I'm with. No one else. And well, it might not be a traditional relationship (whatever that is) and that's okay! It doesn't make me any less of a person and as long as the trust, respect, and love is there, you can accomplish a hell of a lot more.

Anyway...just wanted to say hi, and it's wonderful to see an open environment in which you can ask questions, wonder out loud, etc.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 3 replies

Are there any of you who are 2 couples, loving together?

Nicole — Fri, 24 Feb 2006 17:22:54 GMT

I'm just curious if and how this really works...
anyone currently, or in the past, or looking to manifest... a couple to couple poly "love partnership?"
It seems there are so many factors to juggle.
My husband and I embarked on what we thought was this last summer, but 2 of us grew closer and love happened, and the other 2 of us felt maybe a tiny bit threatened and pushed by it, so it all fell away, sadly, I might add...
Anyway, I was just wondering how this could work, how to keep it balanced if you find it...etc...
In my own perfect world, I see another couple, similar in ways to my husband and I, and all of us loving and sharing love and life in a healthy and balanced way.
Any thoughts out there in poly world?!

posted in Alternative Marriage - 15 replies

Infatuation?

Mandy — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 20:58:01 GMT

I have had five people who have shared a special moment(s) with, let it be a few days, few weeks, few months with the longest being a year off and on. During these moments my hart has skipped, raced, worried and ached while my mind analyzed, almost the entire time. The love drug? It takes about, hmmmm maybe 3-6 months to get it to simmer down. The first moment you are open to a connection with another individual the moment that drug kicks in, infatuation? I am new to being open with my lifestyle and not allot of my friends I currently have really understand or can relate to situations I have been in, or am currently in. I remember making a comment to a male friend last weekend. I told him "I win" because I have an open relationship with my primary spouse, and I am fortunate to be able to be in love as many times as my hart takes me. This friend and I are now involved, i think, kinda. I am still analyzing it. We have had many intimate encounters from flirting to snuggling to deep patinate amazing unmentionable animalistic sex. This has all unfolded slowly, I think since May of this year, wait is that slow? So what I am getting to is this, I don't like feeling the "what is he/she thinking, is he/she cool with all this, what are his/her feelings towards my primary spouse, can he/she handle a friendship like this, I want to see him/her, touch him/her, be consumed by him/her again". As you can see its a bit consuming and I want to be above my feelings not consumed by them, any recommendations on how to keep your passion for a new interest under control so it wont take control? How do I find balance? This, lack of better words, aggressiveness has pushed two friends away, one I was wanting more with, she wasn't ready and the other because my primary spouse was threatened about all the time she and I were together. My first male lover would talk to me about his. ours and my feelings, even when I wasn't ready and wanted to repress it and analyze it more. but that's just another reason I loved him. Ironically he has himself become consumed with another female he wants as primary. He has temporally forgotten about his friends, but we will give him a break, I hope, when he realizes what he is doing.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 2 replies

News letter for people looking for more.

mouvance — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 19:57:06 GMT

Dear friends,
This group is dedicated to people who want to explore different ways of love. Please feel free to post your experiences, stories, sexy events announcements and concerns.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 2 replies

How to manifest alternative partnerships?

CaptainErotica — Tue, 28 Mar 2006 15:56:17 GMT

Most of the topics in this tribe have focused on the polyamorous aspects of alternative marriage.

I am curious if people might want to share with the group about how they go about manifesting
other people to be involved with in their alternative marriage.

There are many formats that have been discussed so far in this tribe.. from concious polyamory
to cuckolding to multi-couple families to even the less concious but still widely practiced "cheating"
-- which though less concious and positive, is still, technically under the umbrella of the topic of this
tribe...

Also in this tribe is a WIDE mix of people with experience and those who are newer to this type of
exploration...some folks are already IN a marraige and new to opening them... others do not even
HAVE a partner to marry yet but want to learn...

SO for ANY of the above situations or even ones I have not mentioned... please feel encouraged to
share with the group how you go about meeting people who can enhance your alternative marraige
or even meet people to hope to have an alternative marraige?

This tribe is really flourishing.. I get membership requests daily and I am really enjoying all the sharing
that has been happening here! KUDOZ to all of you for your bravery and dedication to your relationships!

Namaste
Captain Erotica -

posted in Alternative Marriage - 7 replies

Introduce yourself please~ `

CaptainErotica — Mon, 20 Mar 2006 17:08:08 GMT

I get requests to join this tribe pretty much every day...

I think it would be excellent if new folks (and veteran members who have not yet done so)
would take a moment to introduce themselves to this group...

*********************
I am Captain Erotica - Being an Erotic Superhero is my Dharma this lifetime (i know I know tough life eh?)

I started this tribe a number of years ago when I was part of an alternative marriae... since then
my partnership has evolved and we are no longer together...however 3 years of alternative relationship
qualifies me to remain moderator of this group IMHO...

I am a strong advocate for non-dogmatic paradigms for relationship. I believe that while it is possible
to remain with one person for a whole lifetime,, it is IMPOSSIBLE to make a vow that you KNOW will
last that whole time... I am very much in favor of renewing contracts on a regular basis in order to
keep things fresh and alive.

There are MANY forms of relationship that fall under the term Alternative Marriage:

- Non Legal Marriage
- Same Sex
- Multi Partner
- Cucolding
- Open Marriage
- Power Exchanged Based Marriage
and perhaps some I am not listing here (feel free to add your own)

I like the idea that we can all share things about what works, what does not work and
how we go about dealing with both of those.

To me , tribe in general is about sharing information AND about connecting with our fellow
beings.

So far, this group has accomplished those goals to a degree and I look forward to even more
of both, as the tribe continues to evolve and grow.
*******************

Lastly, PLEASE feel encouraged to PARTICIPATE. A tribe is only as robust as it's members and
in order to have a lively space it takes YOU to add your energy. So if you are new, go review some
older threads and add your 2cents to them or start a new topic of your own.

Thanks so much for joining us here in our little corner of the net! I hope that you all have a very
positive experience as members of this tribe.

Namaste
Captain Erotica

posted in Alternative Marriage - 44 replies

power exchanged based marriage?

Valerie — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 22:56:01 GMT

This sounds interesting? Is this where you are celebet and love each other or is it sex magic? Still kind of freaked out and looking for answers and know that I am too insecure for anything but monogomous, but looking for answers just the same.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Balancing act...not sure how well I am doing....

Jen — Sun, 07 May 2006 13:58:11 GMT

Hi y'all....a brief recap about me: in a committed long term relationship with a man (A),, currently living wtih another couple (K and L) with whom I have a polyamorous/polysexual relationship with (K,that is).

For the last couple of weeks, A has been out of the country on business. He expressed to me several times since he's been gone that he has had a hard time with me being with K while he has been gone. On the same front, K has shared with me that L sometimes thinks that K is trading her in for "a younger model" (me). K and I share some common interests that neither of us share with our primary partner, so we have been doing more things together, especially since A has been gone. L's job also leaves us some time to spend alone on occasion.

So for now, K and I are working on how to express our love for each other without causing our primaries any undue worry. It's becoming a delicate balancing act. I think we will discuss it more tonight.

I didnt realize how difficult it would be to love two men.....

posted in Alternative Marriage - 8 replies

Love hurts

Jen — Tue, 30 May 2006 15:26:26 GMT

I'm finding out the hard way that loving more than one person at a time opens myself up to twice as much hurt.

A, my primary, is having an extremely difficult time with our new living arrangement. Last night, when the two of us along with K (our housemate) went to the movies, I sat between them and held hands with both. I was in poly heaven!

When we got home, he stated that he no longer felt like a couple, but as a triad. Unfortunately in this instance, it is a BAD thing. He told me that he can no longer share me unless it is a designated time (like in swinging). He also stated that he is very uncomfortable with the affection that K and I show one another. In short, he cannot handle the poly lifestyle.

Needless to say, this makes me very sad. It looks like in order to be able to keep my primary relationship intact, I will have to sacrifice my secondary relationship. As A stated before, he can't keep me from having feelings for whomever I choose. But for me to not be able to express those feelings is like being caged.

I could really use some words of comfort and wisdom right now....

posted in Alternative Marriage - 5 replies

Let Love Happen

dub — Mon, 19 Jun 2006 16:42:37 GMT

Hey Gang.

A thanks to Captain Erotica for this space. I haven't been here for a while.

I wanted to respond to Celia about the picture I created: http://alternatemarraiges.tribe.net/photos/6cbb3964-d12f-4551-bbd8-4b394115ff05 .

The interlocking rings of the gender symbols were created on a program called Gemoeter's Sketchpad. Once I had the interlocking symbolscompleted, I simply cut and pasted them into Paint and colored them and superimposed them over the rainbow and added the text Let Love Happen.

To me this holds several meanings. I'm polyamorous. For me polyamory is not just the nature in which I manage my relationships, but it's very much a philosophy that I live. I very literally Love-Many-People. Whether platonically or romantically, I do not think it's right to limit other people's capacity for love, which is a major stigma that monogamously inclined people hold. So I wanted to have each individual symbol interconnected with several others, showing our interconnectedness not only with many people, but also with those who our relations are in turn connected to.

If you look closely at the gender symbols, you'll see that some are representative of heterosexuality, bisexuality, and homosexuality of both males and females. The first few interlocking symbols I made had four, then six rings. I realized I couldn't represent all genders and sexual orientations with so few rings, so I then created this ten-ring symbol. I thought it was important to include all orientations for each gender.

Basically, I wanted it to be all-inclusive of any gender and sexual orientation of many people simultaneously. I feel strongly about society's stimas regarding love and relationships, and people's inability to accept others' right to love in any way they see fit. I see this as a symbol of acceptance of any form of love between any number of people, which is exactly what I sought to create. And this is the way I want to live the rest of my life. I want to be allow myself to love, and to be loved, and to allow my relations to love, in any way that a person sees fit.

Thank you for the positive reaction, and feel free to copy the fullsize version and share it. I would love to see this symbol more easily recognizable in the poly, genderfluid, and alternative relationship communities.

Blessings,
dub

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

What is your idea of the ideal alternative marriage?

kaptain_cody — Fri, 25 Nov 2005 23:13:09 GMT

What is your idea of the ideal alternative marriage?

For me it would be 3 or more wives, each with 3 or more husbands, each living in different places and/or areas. spending time with each, helping with projects and developing deeper understanding and relations with all.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 19 replies

Poly or Not

CaptainErotica — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 20:03:00 GMT

Just curious how many of the members here who have alternative marriages are also polyamorous? For the purposes of this question lets assume polyamory includes also polysexuality as well.

Thanks in advance for sounding off so I can get a sense of this in our tribe.

Writing to you from the midst of multimanypolysexualmory~~~~~~>

Namaste
Captain Erotica

posted in Alternative Marriage - 42 replies

Being "unavailable"

Lori — Thu, 11 May 2006 22:38:40 GMT

So what do you do when someone in your family is frequently physically & emotionally unavailable, regardless of the needs/desires of the rest of the family? It seems we are struggling with this continuously with a member of our family, mainly due to work pressures, but also the inability to give to others what is needed to maintain balance, as well as feelings of love, happiness and appreciation, feeling it is beyond what he can give. As we all know this kind of relationship takes LOTS of communication & openness - what do you do when that door is closed to you? How do you cope with your own needs not being met?

posted in Alternative Marriage - 3 replies

What do you think?

Magic — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 05:42:49 GMT

Secenario: A couple feels secure in thier relationship, has an abundant deep love for one another, and talks over issues surrounding a possible alternative relationship with another couple or person. All the major topics like jealousy, living arrangements, etc., have been broached. Can you think of any hidden issues that may arise that could be detremental to the new relationship, and how would they best be handled?

Take notes class, there will be a test in 4th period, and possiblty film @ 11. :-) Maybe we can come up with a comprehensive owners manual for those wishing to get their feet wet.

posted in Alternative Marriage - 8 replies

What makes a person bisexual?

Jen — Sat, 15 Apr 2006 04:13:28 GMT

My partner and I recently had this discussion. He believes if you can be sexual with the same gender as well as the opposite, you are bi. I believe that, while I have had sex with women, I am not bisexual because I don't think I can be in love with a woman.

What do you think?

posted in Alternative Marriage - 7 replies

new Bay Area Poly Fitness tribe

HillyBiker — Sat, 15 Apr 2006 00:10:16 GMT

Hi all, well it was suggested that I setup another tribe specifically to talk about and advertise various opportunities for the poly community to get together for various types of physical activities (see below) ... so here it is:

Bay Area Poly Fitness
This tribe is for anyone in the SF Bay area poly community who wishes to get together for various fitness related activities such as hiking, biking, climbing (indoor or outdoor), kayaking, etc. Anything that gets the blood pumping. Way too many poly meetups are centered around eating (muches, potlucks, lunches, etc) so let's do something to burn it off :-)

We'll be looking for folks to help lead their favorite activity all around the Bay area. Got a new idea? Throw it out there and have others in the poly community join you for the fun.

http://tribes.tribe.net/baypolyfitness

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Couple Seeks Female For Triad Marriage

CaptainErotica — Wed, 18 Jan 2006 00:53:51 GMT

Hi - Captain Erotica here- My services have been retained by an amazing couple who are seeking to meet a woman for dating and ideally a long term relationship.

Below is a description of what they are seeking to manifest.
At a minimum, as you read this, take a second to appreciate how high end and self aware this couple is. To me, it is truly inspiring! =)

************************
Dynamic Wonderful Couple Seeking To Meet Female For Relationship

Seeking a beautiful dynamic woman to join our excellent lives.

We are two very busy professional people, living in San Jose, CA, who would like to enrich our relationship with the addition of a girlfriend. Our ultimate goal is to have this girlfriend become our wife. As such we are mostly seeking people who are looking for a longer term relationship. However we are also open to some enjoyable experiences along the way.

We have a really happy, successful relationship that is fulfilled in every way we wish. We have done some swinging and gone to some sex parties and while we enjoy them, we would like to have a

deeper, more connected relationship with a woman. We have taken our time looking into what it would mean for us to have a second wife in our lives and we are very sure that we would like to manifest an incredible woman to help us expand our lives.

We prefer someone who has no children and is not to interested in having children of her own.

Steven has two fine boys. Kyle is aged 14 and Brandon is aged 16. The boys live most of the year with their mother in So. CA. The boy spend 1 month every summer and one week at Xmas with us.

Steven travels down to So. Cal. frequently to visit with his young men. The boys are both extremely well mannered and friendly fellows. They will be very welcoming of our new friend and will look forward to having her be part of our family.

We both work a great deal. Steven owns his own media business and Bridget owns her own company called Soul Scrub, specializing in inspirational body products and Life Coaching cards. We spend most of our free time together or with some of our close friends.

We love to watch movies, have sex, talk with each other. We enjoy hiking in the gorgeous Santa Cruz Mountains near our home. We are both very avid dancers. Steven loves tennis and Bridget loves working in the garden and creating with her hands.

We have two Siamese cats named Leo and Gonzalous, they are adorable and snuggle on our bed at night.

We currently live in a three bedroom home in a quiet neighborhood and when we have our wife then we will look forward to finding and buying our ideal home together.

We are both very successful and our lives are really fantastic. If you end up being the woman we fall in love with and marry, your life is sure to be highly successful and fantastic too!

We are looking for someone who will love us both equally and vice versa. We truly want a Triad relationship, where all parties are pitching in equally and loving equally. This triad is a combination of interdependent individuals who work to create a romance for the ages, a binding of work and fun, allowing room for each individual to grow yet seeing to the needs of this little community. With work, this triad is a resource for each member to accomplish goals and objectives that sing to them. With fun and an intention to ensure leisure, we see lots of laughter with us taking and making the time to enjoy one another.

It is a triad that if one member should fall, the others will pick that person up. It has a home that is warm and inviting to family, friends and strangers alike. This triad will cater to the strengths of each individual, while loving to the lack of skills we each may lack. We will seek understanding of each others needs, work to negotiate for what we each want, and embrace conflict in a loving, light and graceful way. We intend to open our selves, our home, our lives to our new wife with very wide arms.

We are working with a consultant who is helping us locate and prequalify people we would like to meet. We realize that finding someone who wants to marry a couple is challenging. Using the Internet is the most efficient method of finding someone who shares our values and meets our criteria for the sort of person we wish to manifest. However the Internet search can be very time consuming and our lives do not allow the time for this. Thus, due to our commitment to this process, we have hired Captain Erotica to help us find someone. He is the one who will be responding to you first if you respond to our ad. He is also actively seeking out candidates so you may be reading this after he invited you to read about us.

Weather he found you or you found us on your own, thank you for reading our ad! We were asked by Captain Erotica to describe the traits that we seek in our potential partner. He suggested we use a tiered system to valuate what was mandatory, what was really desired and what was craved but not necessary. The list we came up with really reflects ourselves, our values and tells the tale of what we seek. If you read this list and it sounds or feels like you then please do contact us so we may use this medium to get to know you better.

A list- Must Haves

* Generosity of spirit, an open and giving heart, very kind and
loves to help and pitch in, laughs easily
* Emotionally balanced and absolutely no moodiness nor drama,
must be easy-going and easy to live with
* Get along well with and genuinely likes the pussy cats and boys
* Available and open emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and
physically, wanting and able to make a full commitment
* Open sexually, and loves playing with us. We are open to sex
parties and fun, but definitely want the commitment to our
family be first and foremost
* Very gorgeous and takes care of herself and her body
* Addiction and disease free

B list- LOVE IT

* Good communicator, able to express her needs and able to talk
about things when they bother her.This is very important but we
put this on the B list as we believe this is a skill set and we can
help her with this area (providing she is open to this); actually,
this really lies between the A list and the B list; perhaps an A-
* Likes to go out, dancing, dinners, movies, plays, opera, travel,
galleries and is open to exploring life
* Non judgmental, accepts people as they are, again this is a skill
set that can be taught.
* Optimistic
* Has a good work ethic; another A-/B+ kind of thing
* She values and loves herself
* Intelligent, and able to explore and challenge ideas and have
fun discussing different perspectives

C- BONUS BUT NOT REQUIRED

* We like her friends/family and get along well with them
* Flamboyant, outgoing not shy
* Likes to cook
* Love roller coasters

Here is a "letter to a friend" describing what life is like with our new wife. This was another exercise given to us by Captain Erotica that is a way for us to express what we are looking for in a partner.

"We are loving our gorgeous, new wife; her ability to laugh, play and have fun with us is so delightful to be around - she blends with us perfectly. Steven and I are so grateful and in awe of how quickly and easily this amazingly beautiful goddess came into our lives. We know divine intervention was behind this. We like getting behind her too (literally)! Her raw sexuality and her sexual appetite is delicious and matches ours very well. What we particular appreciate is her ability to fully commit at all levels, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.

Though we love to play around and have fun, her level of commitment is important to us as we want to be a strong family and build and grow our relationship and wealth together; she is also ambitious and has a great zest for follow-through and big thinking. Steven and I are hi-fiving each other as our biggest want was a generosity of spirit and no moodiness and she has this attribute in spades. "

We encourage anyone who views our ad to contact us if you like what you see and read. Even if you are not sure if you want to "marry" a couple or not, contact us. We realize that even though
we are fired up about having a wife, that no matter who she is, we will have to get to know her by dating her first. So if you like what you found here.. don't be shy....

We wish everyone who is using this online service the best of luck in manifesting the person or people they desire. Everyone deserves to be fulfilled and happy!
*************************

OK so if this intrigues you - either for dating fun or for investigating something more serious... drop Captain Erotica a line and he can put you in touch with us...

posted in Alternative Marriage - 3 replies

Alternative Marriage and Spirituality

yogi4peace — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 10:29:39 GMT

Please share your personal spiritual pracices and how they relate (or not) to your choice of an alternative marriage. It seems that a lot of times we lean on either sexuality and forget spirituality or we follow someone else's formula for spirituality which tells us exploring sexualiy is not something rewarding.

What are your thoughts and experiences on the subject?

posted in Alternative Marriage - 7 replies

Self Marriage

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 18:25:53 GMT

I have heard of this on the radio. I took part in the ceremony from home. Now I am happily self married! Just wanted to share with ya'll!
Peace Love Bliss

posted in Alternative Marriage - 1 reply

A few tips on Jealousy

CaptainErotica — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 22:54:18 GMT

I get letters pretty much daily these days with people who have questions pertaining to alternative or spiritual matters. Some are very silly or casual in nature, but others strike a chord as raising an excellent topic.

This is one of them, along with my response and then their reply to my repsonse. It's a nice little bit about jealousy.

I invite any of you to add your thoughts on this topic. This tribe is increasingly serving as a place for people to read information about issues pertaining to alternative marriage.

~Namaste~

****** wrote:
> Captian, I thought you would be a good person to
> ask. What you show is usually consistantly
> positive. I imagine your experience may not
> always be so but hey, you're human right so
> thats the way it goes.
> Well anyway. I've been having trouble lately
> with the jealousy thing. I personally don't
> think I have any particular reason to be
> jealous. It's not like the person that my man is
> seeing is dissing me or anything like that. I
> guess my man doesn't connect that way with too
> many and so I have less experience dealing. I
> get afraid and its like my emotions have been
> hijacked. I don't really know how to rework it.
> I imagine I'll find a way someday but for now I
> thought a little advice might help.
> It's really quite ironic as I've always been the
> slut in this relationship. Love him deeply yes
> but tween the two of us I connect with more
> people. I always think he doesn't have anything
> to worry about (though sometimes he does worry)
> and here I am blindsided by these fears and
> jealousy. It's bloody complex, I could take a
> lot of time telling you all the thoughts that go
> through my mind. I feel confused.
> Bugs me when I don't live up to my ideals.
> Bottom line is that I don't want to feel this
> way but I'm wary of just shutting down my
> emotion. It feels dangerous to do that. And I
> don't wanta ruin my boo's chance at having good
> relationships by my falling apart or my fears.
> I feel sorta stuck.
> If you have any advice, things to do or think
> that might help I'd be glad to hear it.
> ~sigh~
> I'm not proud of myself today.
> Thanks Captain.

************************

Hi *******
Here are my thoughts:

First off- Jealousy happens to pretty much eveyone...even very evolved beings end up feeling jealousy ...they just have tools to transmute the energy...

Here are a few tools I have to offer you:

1- Practice a Compersion Meditation- visualize your partner having a sensual experience with their other lover as if you were watching porn...focus on how beautiful it is to see your partner having pleasure...if you can get aroused by this all the better... Compersion is the opposite of jealousy... it;s compassionate perversion (that's what I call it) ...that means you feel HAPPY and EXCITED that your partner has extra pleasure...

Even if at first you have to fake it a little..keep at it...practice helps

2- Focus on drawing energy from your heart to your sex chakras...When you feel jealous, take a moment to visualize sweet honey love juice dripping from your heart to your yoni... love yourself... be whole without anyone

3- remember that no matter if it is a bolt of lightening or another lover...your partner can be taken from you at any time..that is part of the rules and deal of life... the deeper you grok this and let go of ownership on a big picture level the less jealousy will have fuel to work with

4- watch the movie WHAT THE BLEEP DO WE KNOW--- make sure you focus on the part of the film pertaining to the hypothalamus - it will give you new insight about emotion...

Here is my blog topic on this movie and what it has to say about emotions in general:

I suggest you go read this now

http://people.tribe.net/captainerotica/blog&topicId=d41c6440-ff59-4591-93a1-0d2d7a315134

Ok so now you know that jealousy is just a chemical reaction spreading jealousy peptides throughout your body...so when you feel jealousy you can emotionally masturbate yourself into a more positive state

5- every now and then just let it be felt FULLY- RAGE- get pissed- EXPRESS your jealousy--- write- do art... get it OUT - get it FELT---

I think a combination of those 5 things are pretty guaranteed to help you transmute the lead of your jealousy into the gold of compersion

let me know if you have any futher questions

also do you mind if I post your message *anonymously* to one of my tribes or my blog?

good luck!
big hug
Captain Erotica

*********************

Thank you Captain.
Since I wrote you I have been doing better. Not perfect but better.
You have offered me more tools. Thank you so much.
I have seen the movie you mention. I will further look into your links and info. Thank you again.
I know that mountains and snow and sudden death could take my love. Though I might fear those things sometimes, I don't feel jealous of them. Perhaps its that I have met some rather manipulative people in the past who just didn't get how to pull this off honorably. Though my man never hangs with those ones for long. It's a turn off. ;)
Presently I'm really needing some food and caffine so my thoughts aren't quite in order. But thank you Captain. More tools are good! I appreciate the gifts.
Yes you can repost my letter.
Thank you for your help.
Funny, you telling me that even very evolved beings sometimes feel jealousy helps. Helps me not feel like such a big poop. Lol.
Hugs and gratitude Captain.
Thank you!
~***********

posted in Alternative Marriage - 9 replies

Newbie!!!

yogi4peace — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 10:26:01 GMT

Hello everyone. I am a newbie to this tribe. I am learning about alternative marriage out of curiousity. I seek knowledge abou what works, and what doesnt. Mostly looking for the raw truth. 22, married, exploring sexuality and knowlege of self. I also have a 4 year old son.

much love
brian

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Alternative Divorce

CaptainErotica — Thu, 16 Mar 2006 18:25:29 GMT

any tales to share of alternative marraiges ending?

hopefully positive tales but also negative ones as well so that we can learn from each other about this important topic

we often place so much attention on making alternative marraiges happen and how that works that we do not look at or share
how they end (which, just like traditional marraiges, they do)

thanks for sharing!

posted in Alternative Marriage - 1 reply

Pantheacon

Sun, 29 Jan 2006 15:05:17 GMT

Is anyone on this Tribe planning on attending Pantheacon? I'm coming down from the Seattle area with a friend, and we're planning on visiting Berkeley for part of the time we'll be in town for the conference.
Does anyone have a particular recommendation for one of the workshops/pannels? It can be a bit hard to choose - there are so many intriguing offerings this year. Any thoughts, Captain?

~Dakini~

posted in Alternative Marriage - 3 replies

A MODEL FOR POLYS TO GO APE by Janet Kira Lessin and Sasha Lessin, Ph.D. Worldpolyamory@aol.com

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 03:44:05 GMT

A MODEL FOR POLYS TO GO APE by Janet Kira Lessin and Sasha Lessin, Ph.D. Worldpolyamory@aol.com

In our polyamory and tantra seminars and private sessions, men outnumber women 3 to1. Women, we found, fear tantra and polyamory as emphasizing sexuality too much and so avoid both. What, we wondered, makes women cautious about situations they perceive as involving sex?

Nan Wise (The Attachment Flu: Lessons In Loving and Letting Go: Loving More #22) discusses a biological basis for this caution. She writes, following Ken Wilber ( A Brief History of Everything)

When a woman’s skin is stroked, she releases oxytocin, the hormone of relationship and attachment. It’s nature’s way of assuring that woman stay with our partners and nurture our young and feather our nests. It is present in men in smaller quantities.

Years ago Janet read a similar article noting that a woman’s oxytocin increased with the number of orgasms she has with a man. Orgasms and oxytocin keep her coming back to him, attaches her to him for more love and pleasure until she conceives. The man is rewarded by reproducing. His genes continue.

“Oxytocin,” in Nan’s words, “is part of my hard wiring. Once I attach it is very difficult to let go. It is why I pay attention to relationships. It is why I have held on tightly to my lover as I have, past the point that my reasoning mind thought was suitable. It is partly why I have tolerated unacceptable behaviors and suffered from the side effects associated with valuing relationship over self.”

Perhaps this is the major reason women are cautious about workshops and coaching involving sex. This varies, of course, with the woman. Some men, too, have higher levels of oxytocin and are consequently as sensitive, bond as much emotionally and can be as devastated as women. The amounts of oxytocin released varies with each individual.

Men and women both release testosterone, a hormone that increases interest in sexuality. Men tend to have more testosterone, and are more drawn to activities, such as poly and tantra workshops, that they think will involve sex. Amounts of testosterone also varies among individuals, and some women, with higher levels of testosterone relative to oxytocin, are sexually free and able to have many casual lovers, like men.

Women imagining polyamory and tantra workshops to be potentially sexual also fear competition with other women for men. Sad to say, but women have been trained to distrust each other. They’ve seen how sex led their mothers to have children. Then, in the ostensibly monogamous relations of most parents, woman may have seen their mothers either be abandoned or sexually ignored by their fathers.

It seems that a woman’s mothering can get in the way of her sexuality, especially if she makes her relationship to a child more important to her than her relation with her man. The man feels abandoned and seeks other primary relationships. This can kill the standard monogamous relationship. The man, the woman or both may think of cheating and eventually do so, or the sexual interaction between the couple may lessen or die.

Bonobo chimps solve problems of female fear of non-affiliation with sex partners that bedevil humans. Bonobos eliminate competition among females, resolve conflict, love intensely and intimately and maintain very active sexual connections their whole lives.

The bonobo are female-centered and sexually egalitarian. Their females ally to inhibit male aggression; sexual behavior (in every partner combination) replaces aggressive behavior. Unrelated bonobo tribes make love rather than fight.

When two tribes of bonobos meet the lead females of each group inspect, then engage in sex with each other. Then each of these females each takes the leading male from their respective groups by the hand and leads him to the female she just loved. She presents this male as a sexual gift to her female counterpart. Each lead male then has intercourse with the lead female of the new tribe. Then all the members of both tribes enjoy sex with one another. Bonobos use sex to avoid conflict.

Anything that arouses the interest of more than one bonobo tends to result in sexual contact. If two bonobos approach a cardboard box thrown into their enclosure, they will briefly mount each other before playing with the box. Such situations lead to squabbles in most other species. But bonobos are quite tolerant. , They use sex to divert attention and to diffuse tension.

A jealous male might chase another away from a female, after which the two males reunite and engage in scrotal rubbing. Or after a female hits a juvenile, the latter's mother may lunge at the aggressor, an action that is immediately followed by genital rubbing between the two adults. The species' most striking achievement sensitivity to others. (DeWaal, F: Bonobo Sex and Society)

We have much to learn from our bonobo cousins. The sensitivity they display is crucial in the human polyamorous dance. My husband, Sasha, and I use the bonobo model when we date couples; it seems to work well.

At the start of our date with another couple, Sasha makes love with me and the other couple also makes love. Then we women connect before we exchange men.

If the other woman and I do not bond and connect, if we don’t feel flowing and natural, we keep our relation social and do not become sexual. We don’t manipulate, convince or pressure her to more intimacy than she chooses.

If click energetically, I watch the woman of the other couple love Sasha. Then Sasha and she watch me make love with her man.

We commit to open, honest expression and treat emotional upset and jealousy, should they arise, as blessings–paths to deeper awareness and spiritual growth. We encourage an upset person to identify his feelings.

Sometimes, in a foursome situation, you may not know why you feel scared or jealous.

We women distanced ourselves from each other as we developed sexually and vied for men, we abandoned each other for them. Or we imprinted the woman-vs-woman competition habit. My girl gang in Avalon, PA, agreed without words to break dates with each other to go out with men. We acted like it was okay. In reality, it hurt.

This uncertain past with one each other disempowers us as individuals. It blocks the synergistic potential of our sisterhood. We need to become pals, to enjoy, encourage and help each other. Like the bonobos.

Bonobos are bisexual. Bisexuality gives females an additional level of intimacy that goes beyond just friendship.

I only discovered my bisexuality well into adulthood and I am delighted that I now have this added dimension for relating. Connecting with my female lovers enhances polyamorous interludes and reconnect me with the feminine in ways I haven’t known since pre-adolescence. Before adolescence, I was in love with my girlfriends. We adored one another. We gave each other “friendship” rings, like we were going steady. Now that I’m again lovers with women, I return to childhood innocence, to early days before adults shamed us for feeling what we felt--true affection and love for our dear, sweet girlfriends.

Bisexual or not, when two women in a two-couple date connect energetically, if not sexually, we bond to help and encourage each other. It’s so much easier to feel safe and really trust a woman that you know, feel and love.

We share more with bonobos. We and they enjoy recreational. We and these chimps use sex to nourish love feelings, bonding, intimacy. Bonobos, like us, make love face to face, eye to eye.

Both humans and bonobos, at the level of actual, genetically proven studies, show most humans have many sexual partners. In one study, one third of recorded fathers were not the genetic fathers. Humans are, in actual sexual behavior, one group of lovers. Our children are the children of us all, of the tribe.

In other ways, bonobos differ from us. Bonobo females run things and bonobo males are peaceful, nonviolent, opposite humans, with male control and violence. The peaceable bonobo has retained traits of common ancestry that we patriarchally-socialized people find hard to recognize in ourselves. It’s time for us to emulate our ape allies and live from bonobo consciousness.

Janet Kira Lessin, Chief Focalizer for the World Polyamory
Association and Dr. Sasha Lessin are featured speakers at the Annual Harbin Hot Springs
Polyamory Conference, "Celebrate Relationship Choice, May 2-14,
Harbin Hot Springs, CA. See www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

SOTC Meet & Greet - Feb. 4th - SF

Jodie — Wed, 25 Jan 2006 01:17:34 GMT

JOIN SOTC MEMBERS AT OUR NEXT SOTC MEET & GREET!

Location: San Francisco Strip Club
When: Saturday February 4th, 2006, 9:00 pm – Close
Cost: $20 per person payable upfront on Paypal - covers door fee to club

There is no better way to meet other SOTC members and have a naughty night out too. Make new friends and indulge in fantasies at one of San Francisco's premier strip clubs! This event is open to all SOTC members. We are looking forward to meeting new members and also see all our friends who have joined us in the past.

*full bar
*restaurant
*reserved seating
*exclusive servers
*large number of high quality, sexy dancers
*valet parking is available for $12 per car

To get an invitation log on to:

www.sexoutsidethecity.com

And join the yahoo group. (link is located on the homepage)

See you there!
~Jodie~

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Polylocationality

CaptainErotica — Thu, 19 Jan 2006 21:27:00 GMT

your thoughts are welcomed on this topic

http://people.tribe.net/captainerotica/blog&topicId=d5b140fc-e69f-44de-aaa4-bc4b00284699

posted in Alternative Marriage - 1 reply

Tips for Finding a Third

CaptainErotica — Wed, 11 Jan 2006 18:40:55 GMT

I am helping a couple to find their desired second wife for a triad.

They are wishing to have a third in their life however they do not know how to go about finding her.

Anyone here have any tips to share.

I know from my own experience that it is usually 90% serendipity so I realize that asking for tips may not yield too much helpful info. However in the name of helping and using all the resources at my disposal, I am curious if anyone here has anything to share on the topic of finding and manifesting a second female for a m/f couple.

Namaste

posted in Alternative Marriage - 6 replies

Top Three List

CaptainErotica — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 20:07:48 GMT

One major purpose of this tribe is to provide people with information about what helps make Alternative Relationships successful. If we, as members, take a moment to participate in our discussions it not only helps our members but also creates a valuable repository for inquiring visitors to our tribe =)

Thus, if you have a moment, please list your top three of any or all of the following:

A- Things you love about your Alternative Relationship(s)
1-
2-
3-

B- Challenges presented by your Alternative Relationship(s)
1-
2-
3-

C- Tools you have created/learned/developed/ that help your Alternative Relationship(s)
1-
2-
3-

D- Tips you have for people considering Alternative Relationship(s)
1-
2-
3-

Thank you for PlayingFully!

posted in Alternative Marriage - 17 replies

Bang In The New Year - Jan 21st 2006 - House Party!

Jodie — Fri, 06 Jan 2006 10:13:17 GMT

Saturday, January 21st 2006, 9 PM – 4 AM

Event: New Years Bang
Where: SOTC Pad, Vallejo

Start 2006 with a bang! Join us at the SOTC pad and break in the new year the best way we know how — very naked and very naughty.

As always, all supplies will be available; soft drinks, spiked punch and food will be provided. SOTC members only. SOTC is a pre-screened play community. You can join SOTC for free. Go to the website to find out how to join.

www.sexoutsidethecity.com/

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

Montel Williams Show TODAY

Vrederun — Tue, 29 Nov 2005 08:09:51 GMT

Today is the Montel Williams broadcast on Polyamory!!

Check listings - it's at 4 PM on NBC in my area.

Nora

posted in Alternative Marriage - 0 replies

First trio married in The Netherlands

unsubscribed_user — Sat, 26 Nov 2005 13:57:11 GMT

This is reposted from the Fluid Relationships tribe:

http://www.brusselsjournal.com/node/301

First Trio "Married" in The Netherlands

From the desk of Paul Belien on Tue, 2005-09-27 00:08

The Netherlands and Belgium were the first countries to give full marriage rights to homosexuals. In the United States some politicians propose “civil unions” that give homosexual couples the full benefits and responsibilities of marriage. These civil unions differ from marriage only in name.

Meanwhile in the Netherlands polygamy has been legalised in all but name. Last Friday the first civil union of three partners was registered. Victor de Bruijn (46) from Roosendaal “married” both Bianca (31) and Mirjam (35) in a ceremony before a notary who duly registered their civil union.

“I love both Bianca and Mirjam, so I am marrying them both,” Victor said. He had previously been married to Bianca. Two and a half years ago they met Mirjam Geven through an internet chatbox. Eight weeks later Mirjam deserted her husband and came to live with Victor and Bianca. After Mirjam’s divorce the threesome decided to marry.

Victor: “A marriage between three persons is not possible in the Netherlands, but a civil union is. We went to the notary in our marriage costume and exchanged rings. We consider this to be just an ordinary marriage.”

Asked by journalists to tell the secret of their peculiar relationship, Victor explained that there is no jealousy between them. “But this is because Mirjam and Bianca are bisexual. I think that with two heterosexual women it would be more difficult.” Victor stressed, however, that he is “a one hundred per cent heterosexual” and that a fourth person will not be allowed into the “marriage.” They want to take their marriage obligations seriously: “to be honest and open with each other and not philander.”

* * *

And this related story:

"Dutch Minister Not to Prevent Polygamy"

http://www.brusselsjournal.com/node/421

* * *

posted in Alternative Marriage - 3 replies

Introduction - Beginnings of an open marriage

Erika — Mon, 21 Nov 2005 15:07:52 GMT

Hello tribe. I've been on the list a while just to check things out...maybe looking for a situation similar to mine. I guess each relationship is unique. My husband and I had been monogamous for 8 years and I finally started to see the appeal of having an open marriage.

My husband and his ex had an open marriage. I thought it was a terrible idea when I heard about it, but I was only 23 when we first got together (he was 42). His marriage ended in divorce after 17 years and I just now figured that it was their open marriage that kept it going for so long. I don't know if that was a good or bad thing.

I'm a body artist and I teach a lot of workshops all over the world. When you're an instructor, you sort of get a little celebrity status in the industry, just because you're highly visible. In my travels I've started paying attention to the fact that guys are still interested in me, even though I'm over 30, married, and with 3 kids. It's nice to get that butterflies in the stomach feeling that you get when you flirt with someone new. I started talking to my husband about it and he encouraged me to pursue any relationshps that I wanted to explore further.

I've had one guy who I had a few nice goodnight kisses with and one guy who I spent a couple of days/nights with. They were both positive experiences for me. My husband was a little let down because his open-marriage fantasy was about having threesomes and enjoying me with someone else at the same time. I'm not comfortable with that and prefer that we each do our thing on our own and tell each other about it afterwards.

My husband started feeling better about it more recently. He started losing a lot of weight and getting back in shape. Maybe seeing that other guys were interested in me made him worry about getting too old for me. He met a nice lady in his yoga class and I have encouraged him to get to know her better. They've flirted and fooled around and call each other every night. I did have some jealousy pangs when I learned that they had fooled around in our house while I was out of town. I guess along with not wanting to meet his girlfriend, I don't want to imagine her in our house as well. He has respected my feelings on that and things are great. I get excited to hear about what they're up to.

I don't feel any threat to our relationship because he has said that he would stop the relationship with her at any moment if I had a problem with it and I have no doubts about how dedictated he is to me. He has told her that he's married and that I know all about their relationship. (We have agreed on honesty with each other and with our lovers - and we don't like fooling around with people who are cheating on their partners.) His new lady is a little freaked out about our open marriage and my husband telling me everything that goes on. It seems like it's more acceptable to some people for a guy to cheat on his wife without her knowledge than for him to explore other relationships with her knowledge and encouragement. People are weird.

I love that I don't have to put up a wall around myself and fend off interest from others or keep my emotions in check. It really makes it seem like there is so much possibility for new and exciting things in life. My only problems are that I really don't want the kids to know about it and most of the generaly population would not be okay with it. I only have two friends (experienced with open marriage themselves) what I can chat with about it. But then again....maybe hiding it makes it all more exciting.

Thanks for all of the stories. It's great to hear that there are other open minded people in the world.

~Amerikah

posted in Alternative Marriage - 5 replies

is wanting to know the details wrong?

kym — Wed, 11 May 2005 00:18:53 GMT

My husband and I are embarking on an open marriage. We are very commited to each other and have excellent communication. He's been flirting with a girl at work....and I just want to know everything . :-)
He may think it's jealousy, whereas, I am kind of turned on by the details.

Should I refrain from asking him?

posted in Alternative Marriage - 20 replies

something other than sex

your_little_pony — Mon, 30 May 2005 18:24:41 GMT

i've been a bit frustrated with this tribe. it seems the only subject is sex. i actually joined to see how other people dealt with marriage and relationships in a time where marriage can stand for exclusion (gay marriage, "lonely singles", and status). is alternative marriage only definition an open marriage?

posted in Alternative Marriage - 22 replies

Newbie Saying" Hey"

teresanamita — Wed, 27 Jul 2005 17:09:23 GMT

Hi, I'm Teresa, and I just joined because my primary partner and I decided to get married recently. I've never done this before, never believed it was the right decision, even after 38 years! This has brought up interesting issues and challenges for me, and its been great reading all the interesting, intelligent discourse on the subject. I want to be sure when I get my engagement ring soon that I'm entering into a great new phase in life, and not feel like I'm being restrained.
thanks!

posted in Alternative Marriage - 9 replies